Ooh-ooh-ooh-er!
We witnessed some bare-bottomed cheek at the safari park!
Everyone knows the feeling. You’re stuck at home with the kids, desperate for a day out.
‘Fancy going to the zoo?’ suggested my partner Julian back in July.
Why not?
I invited my sister Natalie and her partner Jonathan – their kids Joshua, 4, and Isabella, 1, were so excited.
‘No monkeying around, you lot!’ we told them as they ran around with my youngest Emily, 2.
Knowsley Safari Park was only 45 minutes drive away – but I think the adults were more impatient to get there than the kids!
‘Are we nearly there yet?’ Julian kept whining in a teasing way.
Ape-ing about!
At the park, you stay in your car and drive through enclosures.
We saw some rhinos, camels and giraffes… The kids loved it. ‘Roar!’ little Emily growled from the backseat.
After an hour, we came to the baboon enclosure.
There was a big yellow sign on the gate…
Warning: Your car might get damaged!
‘You’re ’aving a giraffe!’ my sister joked.
In a brand-new car, she wasn’t too keen to go in. But the lads were! So, after leaving her car in a nearby car park, everyone piled into ours instead…
We drove in, and, within the first 10 minutes, we had some very boisterous guests leap onto our car bonnet!
Baby monkeys, baboons… there were just so many of them everywhere!
We decided to film them on our phones.
‘Look at his red bum!’ I said, pointing out a baboon who’d jumped onto our car.
But, just then, the naughty creature started chomping through our windscreen wipers!
Then it suddenly cried out to a female baboon nearby.
‘Think that’s his girlfriend,’ I smiled, pointing for Emily.
The female monkey turned around, and showed the male her rear end.
Classy!
Suddenly, he climbed onto her back and started doing monkey business!
They went absolutely ape, getting down and dirty right there on our bonnet.
Natalie gasped and covered little Isabella’s eyes.
It was a little too early for the birds-and-bees talk… But it was very funny! ‘Go on, son!’ Julian cried, pretending to encourage the amorous monkey.
We all fell about laughing as
the baboon’s red bottom bobbed back and forth…
He was on it like a car bonnet!
‘Naughty monkey!’ Joshua cried.
He thought the male monkey was trying to push the female off the car!
Poor Emily didn’t like it, and started crying.
Then, after the longest nine seconds, the female looked back at her partner, and I could almost hear her asking him if he was done… Then she quickly hopped away!
So much for primal attraction!
The ladies’ man lounged back on our windscreen.
Obviously enough fun for one day!
At least, that’s what we thought…
Because, as we drove off, still in stitches, he stole our back registration plate!
He was certainly one very cheeky monkey!
Coming out of the enclosure, we were in hysterics. I could hardly breathe with laughing.
‘Did that really just happen?’ I asked Julian. I had the video to prove it! So I decided to upload it to Facebook – and it went viral!
Newspapers picked it up, and on one website it was viewed 6 million times!
Now that’s what you call proper bonkers!
Talk about a famous sex tape! Who knew a day out at the zoo could be so bananas?
As we drove off in stitches, he stole our reg plate!