hubby had a secret wife!
he told her i had cancer...
I was proud to be Mrs Tomlinson...
Sitting at the train station, I smiled sadly to my boyfriend Lee.
In his Navy uniform, Lee put his arm around me. It was September 2009, and he was leaving our home in Fife to return to Portsmouth, where he was stationed as an engineer.
Being apart wasn’t easy for our relationship but, after a year together, we were making it work.
I hated the goodbyes...but, this time, as the train pulled into the station, Lee leapt up.
Going down on one knee, he asked, ‘Kelly, will you marry me?’ ‘Oh, my God! Yes!’ I shouted. We only had 30 seconds for him to put a diamond ring on my finger and give me a kiss before he jumped on the train.
Waving him off, I thought, Did
that really just happen?!
I loved Lee’s spontaneity. On cloud nine, we chatted on the phone as much as we could, mostly in the evenings.
‘I’ve already started planning the wedding,’ I said, telling Lee every detail.
He travelled back and forth to view venues. And, just over six months later, we made our vows at The Vu, a beautiful place in Bathgate.
I was wearing a long, white gown, and Lee was dapper in his uniform. I’m so lucky! I thought. We went on honeymoon to Mauritius, made the most of sunny days, lazing by the pool.
When we returned, Lee was immediately deployed to the Gulf for eight months.
An independent person, I got by OK when Lee was away for long stints. I trusted him
Down on one knee, he gave me a diamond ring!
completely, but it didn’t stop me missing him loads.
So, as proud as I was of his career, a part of me was happy when, in 2011, Lee decided to take a redundancy payout.
We used the money to buy a three-bedroom, detached house with a garden, close to schools, shops and doctors.
‘Perfect for when we have kids,’ I grinned.
I got used to having my hubby at home all the time, going out for dinner and snuggling on the settee.
Then, in 2012, Lee got a new job, working for an oil company. It meant he’d alternate between five weeks in Angola, Africa, then five weeks back home.
‘Just when I’ve got used to having you around,’ I told him. But I was supportive, vowing we’d make it work, like before.
And we did. For a while…
By early 2013, things didn’t seem quite right. When Lee came home from his stints away, he seemed distant. ‘I’m just tired,’ he’d say. Then he forgot our third wedding anniversary. Normally he was thoughtful
and generous. But I didn’t even get a card. Trying not to show the hurt, I suggested eating out. But, over dinner, Lee picked at his food and looked miserable. ‘What’s wrong?’ I begged, bursting into tears. ‘Everything’s fine,’ he said, shrugging it off. Soon after, Lee was off on his next Angola stint, leaving me at home, lost and lonely. In late June 2013, when Lee was due home, he didn’t want me to meet him at the airport. Something was up… When Lee got home, I was determined to get answers. ‘What’s wrong?’ I demanded. But, when the answer came, it knocked the life out of me. ‘I don’t love you any more,’ Lee said. ‘Our marriage is over.’ I stood, heartbroken and dumbfounded, as he announced he was moving to Africa to stay with a work friend.
‘Is there someone else?’ I asked, in tears.
‘No,’ he said. ‘I just want to be on my own.’
I was utterly devastated, couldn’t eat, cried myself to sleep every night.
then he forgot our anniversary – not even a card...
Lee was still in the house, sleeping in the spare room until he left.
I couldn’t bring myself to kick him out, still hoping we could patch things up.
He started joining me when I walked our dogs each day, making small talk. He’d eat dinner with me, too. After four weeks, we kissed. ‘I want to give things another go,’ I told Lee. ‘Me, too,’ he said. Slowly, we rebuilt things. But, in October, after he’d left, I was looking in a bag under the stairs when I found a print-off of an e-mail from a woman named Samira.
She’d sent Lee a booking confirmation for a hotel in South Africa. A getaway for two…
The paper trembled in my hands. Who the hell was Samira? Was Lee having an affair?
Fuming, I called Lee, who was in Angola at the time.
‘Who is Samira and why are you booking romantic resort holidays with her?’ I said. ‘Whoa, calm down,’ he replied. Lee said this Samira worked at the same firm as him, and she’d booked the trip as a team-building exercise.
‘I told you I wanted to be with you and I meant it,’ he said.
‘I believe you,’ I said, his
words calming me down.
But, still, questions plagued me...
Why are the e-mails just to Lee? And why is the booking for two, not the full team?
I decided I had to ask this Samira for myself.
Without telling Lee, who was back home, I e-mailed her, saying who I was and why I was asking.
The next day, I got a reply, confirming Lee’s story. But it still didn’t feel right.
After a few days, I got another e-mail – from someone saying they were a friend of Samira.
I waited till Lee was in the shower before opening it.
My name’s... I am a friend of Samira Tomlinson’s. Lee (YOUR HUSBAND) married my friend, it read.
What?! My heart raced as I read Lee had married Samira in an Islamic ceremony on one of his work trips. Lee had a secret wife. She was even using our name! Before I knew it, I was on my feet, bursting into the bathroom.
‘I know!’
I screamed at Lee, showing him the e-mail. He looked pale. ‘Please calm down,’ he said. But I was sobbing, ranting. Eventually, I let Lee explain himself. Bit by bit, the truth came out... Lee said he’d thought I didn’t love him any more, and that I hadn’t been attentive enough. But it was pretty hard to be attentive when he was in another country!
He admitted he’d pursued Samira. Apparently she’d thought he was divorced, and he’d told her I had leukaemia..
He said Samira was a Muslim, that their Islamic wedding ceremony wasn’t legally binding in the UK. He said he wanted to be with me.
‘What happens now?’ Lee asked, after hours of arguing. Truth was, I didn’t know. I felt like it was all my fault. That if I’d been a better wife, he could’ve told me how he felt instead of looking elsewhere. ‘We’ll see,’ I said. I kept it secret, didn’t tell a single person.
Lee then divorced his second wife by e-mailing her to say I divorce you three times, as is customary. But it wasn’t enough.
We tried to fix our marriage, but I couldn’t forgive Lee.
‘I just don’t trust you any more,’ I told him.
We’re now separated and planning to divorce. I live alone with my dogs in a small house. Although it’s taken me months to truly get over our break-up, I genuinely feel happier and healthier than I have in years.
I don’t know if I can trust another man.
I never doubted Lee, but not only did he cheat on me, he married someone else.
For now, at least, I feel I’m better off alone.
She thought we were divorced – he told her I had leukaemia