Still smiling
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Steve gripped my bandaged hand, and the girls sobbed as the news hit us.
I’d lose both my hands and my legs.
I’d been a hairdresser for years, loved baking, being creative.
It was hard to imagine not having hands.
Never mind losing my legs.
‘You can eventually get prosthetics...’ the doctor started.
But I didn’t need convincing.
Even in my muddled state, I knew I didn’t have a choice if I wanted to survive. It was life – or limbs. ‘If it’ll save my life, get on with it,’ I said bluntly.
By now my hands were so black, they hung from my wrists like dead weights.
I couldn’t sign a consent form for quadruple amputation, so Gemma did it on my behalf.
I was transferred to Bedford Hospital – where, this February, I was taken to theatre.
‘Look after my mum,’ Gemma pleaded as they wheeled me down.
During the seven-hour op, surgeons removed all my limbs in one fell swoop.
When I woke up, the whole family were there once more. And I just felt calm. ‘Hello, darlings,’ I said. ‘Are you all right?’ Gemma was sobbing.
‘What are you crying for?’ I asked.
‘It’s a sad day,’ she said.
‘Is it?’ I smiled. ‘I’m alive, aren’t I?’
The sepsis was gone.
Looking down at my four, bandaged stumps, I felt relieved.
I knew that I had a long road ahead of me.
But I was just so grateful to be alive, I didn’t care that I’d lost my limbs.
In March, I had another op to remove dead tissue from my wrists.
Meanwhile, the girls are fundraising to buy me top-ofthe-range prosthetic hands and legs.
It won’t be easy, but I’ll do everything the physiotherapists say.
I’ve been offered counselling, but, at the moment, I don’t need it. If anything, I feel grateful.
I haven’t even shed a tear! After all, Steve could’ve been flying me home in a coffin.
It’s all still a bit of a blur, to be honest, and I’m not quite sure what my life will be like. I’ll likely need a wheelchair. But I’ll wear my wedding ring on a necklace, and find a way to do all the things I love. Life will be different. But at least I’m still here to live it.
They could’ve been flying me home in a coffin