Mum’s death gave my boyfriend a future
My lovely mum became my boyfriend’s hero – and mine
Opening the door to my mum’s antique shop, my eyes fell on the treasures around me. ‘Hello?’ I called out, looking for my mum Karey, then 45, amongst the trinkets.
My boyfriend Mike, then 21, caught a glimpse of her first.
Suddenly the pair of them burst out laughing. ‘What’s funny?!’ I asked. But I was used to it. Those two were always pulling silly faces at each other and making one another giggle.
Both of them were comedians by nature, especially Mum – she never took herself too seriously, always had something funny to say. It was the reason everyone loved her.
She’d recently opened up her own vintage furniture shop. For Mum, it was a dream come true.
She adored old things, loved showing us unique pieces she’d unearthed. That day was no different. ‘It’s beautiful,’ I told her, admiring one of her finds. Soon, Mike had to leave. ‘Dialysis,’ he grumbled. A year earlier, in September 2017, Mike had been diagnosed with Alport syndrome.
It’s a genetic kidney condition, and Mike was told he’d need a transplant. Meanwhile, he had to have dialysis three times a week.
‘Poor Mike,’ Mum said, watching him leave. ‘I’d love to get tested to see if I’m a match.’
I’d offered to get tested myself, but Mike didn’t want me to go through all that.
It was so kind of Mum to offer, but the timing was wrong. She’d just started her business, and she had a busy home life with my stepdad Ronald and my younger sister.
‘Maybe in the future, Mum,’ I said.
Time passed with Mike having his appointments and Mum throwing
So kind of Mum to offer, but the timing was wrong
everything into the shop.
On 3 December 2018,
I was at home when the phone rang.
‘Your Mum collapsed in the shop,’ my grandmother told me.
Mum had been rushed into hospital, but she was still conscious.
Maybe it’s stress-related,
I thought on my way there.
As I arrived, my stepdad was waiting.
‘Doctors think it’s a brain aneurysm,’ he told me, but he assured me Mum was doing OK.
‘They’ll operate tomorrow,’ he said, explaining doctors would fit a stent.
In the hospital bed, Mum looked weak, but we were all convinced her operation would be a success and she’d soon be back to her old self.
‘I love you,’ I told her as I left the hospital ward, then drove over to Mike’s.
That night, I told myself Mum would be fine.
She was only 46, had no health problems. I felt confident that she’d pull through and be OK.
But, the following morning, Ronald called me.
‘Things aren’t looking good,’ he told me through his tears.
Racing to the hospital, I arrived to find the doctors performing tests.
The surgery hadn’t worked, and doctors were trying to work out whether or not Mum was brain dead.
‘I’m so sorry,’ they told us, confirming our worst fears.
Mum was on a life-support machine. We knew that as soon as it was switched off, she would be gone.
It didn’t feel real.
I sobbed next to Mum’s bed, telling her I loved her and promising her I’d make her proud.
Then, doctors came to see us about something...
Mum had registered as a donor, and doctors wanted to discuss donating her organs.
At the time, it felt like too much to bear.
Then Ronald had an idea. ‘We should see if your mum is a match for Mike,’ he suggested.
Suddenly, the room stopped spinning. It was a moment of clarity in a haze of devastation.
I’d have done anything to bring Mum back, but, though I couldn’t do that, I could do this for her.
It’s what she wanted.
‘OK,’ I said quietly, though none of it felt like it was really happening.
Breaking the news to Mike, it felt so bittersweet.
Through tears, he agreed doctors should test Mum.
Soon after, we sat by Mum’s bedside as her life-support machine was switched off.
The grief was instant and immeasurable.
Before long, doctors called to give us the news.
‘They’re a match,’ one told us before Ronald broke down in tears.
After that, it all happened so quickly.
Mike was rushed to surgery, where surgeons performed the transplant.
Three hours later, Mike emerged onto the ward and, soon after, doctors told us the operation had been a success.
I felt overwhelmed with so many emotions. Mike had been given a second chance, but my beloved mum was gone forever.
As Mike recovered slowly, we grieved.
More than a year on, he’s back to good health – though, of course, I still miss Mum every day.
But, thanks to her, Mike and I look set to have a long and happy future.
What an incredible gift that is. We’ll always be so grateful to Mum.
It was a moment of clarity in a haze of devastation