A letter to… My younger self
Dear Me back then,
Remember, it’s never too late to start over
It wasn’t long ago you thought you had it all. A great career as a life coach, a lovely home and relationship, plus a beautiful baby boy. Despite hurdles growing up as a working-class black woman, later coming out as gay, you’d made it!
You even had your own TV show and had been commissioned to write a ‘how to’ book on healthy relationships.
People were comparing you to your idol, Oprah Winfrey!
Only, one night in December 2019, everything crumbled when you were dumped by your girlfriend of five years.
Distraught, you sobbed for hours on the bathroom floor...
Though an emotional wreck, you still had a book to write, a deadline looming.
But how could you
– heartbroken beyond repair
– write about happy relationships after this?
Then you realised something.
For years, you had relied on a partner to make you feel loved.
Now, it was time to take the power back. So you wrote a book for women about how to fall in love... with yourself.
The words spilled out on the page.
Like...
If you don’t have a partner to send you flowers, buy them yourself. Light candles, take lovely long bubble baths and eat chocolates. Just because you can. Always speak to yourself kindly. Don’t judge your body harshly. Every morning, look in the mirror and say, ‘I’m so proud of you.’ Express your feelings, too. Sometimes it is OK to fall apart. And to ask for help when you need it. If you’re always the fixer, the motivator, or the organiser, then start putting yourself first. Choose a hobby – buy yourself some rollerblades and go to the fun fair. Dance like no one’s watching, laugh out loud.
Live within your means. Nice clothes, a fancy home and trendy Insta posts are meaningless if, deep down, you’re not happy.
And remember, it’s never too late to start over.
When it’s time to find Mr or Mrs Right, kindness, compassion and loyalty are what really matter.
Trust in yourself and your past experiences.
If someone treats those around them badly, they’ll treat you badly, too.
And when you find yourself at rock bottom, like I did, always remember you’ll eventually emerge much stronger.
Writing down all those lessons in life and love was truly cathartic.
And now just look at you, a best-selling book under your belt, more happy and confident than ever, a great mum to Kai and 100% happy being single.
It may have been hell, but you made it.
And, believe me, you’re a better, stronger woman for it. All my love,Trey xx