wHAT wIll bE, wIll bE
Will Richard enjoy rainbows day after day with his latest acquisition? Que sera, sera… Owned Since March 2017 Mileage Since laSt RepORt First report tOtal Mileage 147,000km lateSt cOStS £750, plus three hours on a hard shoulderÉ ’It promptly dumped all of its coolant all over the petrol station forecourt’
Just when you feel like life is getting back on track (perhaps a little dramatic, though I am pleased at how well my Renault Twingo project is proceeding) something hits you and knocks it all off balance again. In this case, a small blue SEAT hatchback, which tried to occupy the same bit of road as my daily driver Citroën C5 estate. As anyone knows – or fears – eight-year-old cars are pretty much worthless, and as I surveyed the crumpled wing and inevitably extortionately-priced bumper, it seemed inevitable that the car would be written off, and for not much money. As it happened, that wasn’t the case, but I found myself scouring the classifieds, forums and Facebook in search of an interesting – and preferably cheap – replacement, nonetheless.
It came in the shape of a neglected and rather battered Toyota Sera. This unusual Japanese ‘ boutique car’ stands out for the dihedral doors that are fully glazed into the roof, just like the original Alfa Romeo 33 Stradale, and proven 1496cc E-series engine mated to – in this case – a neat little four-speed automatic transmission. I’ve owned Seras before – though I parted with my last one ten years ago – and know how inoffensive their power, handling and ride are. It sets no benchmarks and is fundamentally the same as the unremarkable Paseo – its interest lies entirely in that body design. The original £1000 asking price dropped to £750 on viewing – although the car had a recent MoT, the water pump was howling and the cosmetics really are poor. It’s solid, though, with good rear wheelarches and undersides. What’s more, the doors stay open.
Once the process of settlement on the C5 was done, my friend Jen engaged her trusty Saab 9-3 and drove me to Nottingham to collect the car – where it rubbed unusual doors with another Sera (a rare Phase III) and two DeLoreans. I tried to convince owner Phil that the DMC-12 was more my style, but to no avail. One day, though…
With fluids topped up, I set off, then stopped at Trowell get some fuel. While I was filling the tank, the Sera decided that it didn’t like the coolant I’d given it and promptly dumped it all over the forecourt via the expansion tank. ‘Coolant’ is perhaps too strong a word for it, though; the clay-like sludge that spewed all over the engine bay was probably more of an insulator.
Having topped the car up carefully once again, I set off (with some trepidation) into busy traffic, the low sun blazing through the glazed canopy making me feel like I was in a small fighter jet – albeit one powered by a Toyota Corolla engine.
I didn’t hesitate in pulling over when the temperate gauge began to creep up at the first slight incline. Then the expansion cap blew off when I opened the bonnet, engulfing me – and my hand, still on the slam panel – in rusty steam.
I nursed it home and later fitted a new water pump, but testing from cold with a flushed cooling system revealed the worst – the cylinder head gasket has failed.
So much for reliability…