The Way We Were
Winter 1962, C. London
Our Nick would climb over any number of Fords and Vauxhalls to get to those BMC Farinas. Looking at this image, he’d probably have to…
‘Ladies and gentlemen, you have been summoned to head office for a special occasion in the history of the Yummy Toffee Company Ltd.’
Chairman Sir Anthony NutKluster, whose loud monotone voice normally boomed through the corridors of Kreamy House as he bawled at some poor functionary that they were a ‘nincompoop’ was rather more humble today however.
‘I have to announce the merger (absolutely not takeover) of this firm, so dear to us since my grandfather Henry founded it in 1901, with American Supercream Toffee Inc.
‘That’s why we have allowed two Fords belonging to their representatives to use the main parking area. They are British-built, thank heavens.
‘Times are hard for independent toffee makers, that applying to both those we live in and, er, the product itself. This all means there will have be changes to both staff, and, if you’d all like to look out of the window, our car allocation.
‘Firstly, my Bentley. As you’ll see from the single headlights it’s only the S1 model and of the first built in 1955. It’s now worth a fraction of the £4669 I paid for it, There’s a proper chassis and relatively simple straight-six engine. Thus I feel the car should be kept. Farewell, though to my chauffeur, Carruthers.
‘To the Bentley’s right is the Rover
P5 that we bought for loyal company secretary, Mr Blandersfoot, as one of the first automatic models, to help him drive with the gammy leg he suffered during the war. He has unfortunately been claiming expenses for visiting manufacturers of nut-chopping machines in the north west, but actually calling on a certain Miss Barnaby in Frinton. The superb quality of this 3 Litre car and its fine wood and leather interior have been well used, as has fuel at 20mpg. ‘The Austin A55 Cambridge next to that is now three years old and been beautifully kept by Rum and Butter Flavour development manager, Mr Askey. This model is inferior to the replacement A60, with a larger 1622cc engine and longer wheelbase. We have only just bought the five Austin A40 MkIIs you see here, and you sales reps need to earn your keep if you are to keep them.
‘The Austin-Healey Sprite that I’ve awarded to our receptionist, Miss Andrews, will, er, not be affected. I do like to see her driving it with her hair blowing in the wind and...
‘Mr Potter! You may be our commissionaire but do I have to tell you again not to put your tatty heap of a Vauxhall E-series Velox in the car park. It is a 1951 car, even if the straight six-engine is a delight.
‘Take those horrible Fords out of my… oh sorry, gentlemen, I see you have a Consul MkII and its sixcylinder Zephyr equivalent.
‘I’m afraid the four Austin A60 Farinas will have to go back to the hire purchase company.
‘Someone has dumped a Ford Anglia 105E across the road and so they should, but hang on, that’s our Mini!
‘Ah, I see that lunch is being delivered. Hang on, what’s that Austin WE furniture removal van doing down there? Hey, that’s my desk and pot plants!’