‘STAYING AT A CANCER HOTEL GAVE ME BACK MY LIFE’
Latest statistics show that one in two of us will get cancer during our lifetime. Closer visited the only hotel in the UK specifically tailored to give sufferers and their carers a peaceful haven and a new lease of life…
❛being Somewhere you feel “normal” is one of the best tonics imaginable❜
After being diagnosed with terminal cancer last August, Sandy Briden barely left her house. She’d stay in bed for days at a time, barely eating and struggling to stay positive in the face of her prognosis. Doctors had told her that, with her sort of aggressive cancer, she may only have five or six weeks to live.
Sandy had gruelling chemo sessions in a bid to prolong her life, but the treatment caused her to go bald and left her with painful ulcers and she was often too ill or self-conscious over her appearance to venture outdoors.
But a trip to The Grove in Bournemouth – the UK’S only hotel specifically for cancer patients, with 24-hour care – has given her a new zest for life and, even led her to remarry her ex-husband, Mark, who she split from 20 years ago.
REASSURING
Sandy speaks to Closer as a BBC documentary A Time To Live (which airs this week) highlights the plight of four women diagnosed with terminal cancer, who are determined to make the most of the time they have left.
Sandy, who lives in London, says: “I was terrified of going out. I was worried I’d be sick in public, or people would stare at me if they saw my wigs. I’d lost all my confidence . But now, although I’m still terminally ill, I have hope again. Staying at The Grove made me realise I could live a relatively normal life.”
Sandy is far from alone. Many patients find it hard to live a full life post cancer diagnosis. Statistics show there are currently more than two million people living with cancer in the UK and between six and 13 per cent of cancer patients are suffering from depression.
Justin Stebbing – Professor of Cancer Medicine and Oncology at Imperial College – says: “When you have cancer, it’s easy to let it take over your life. But it’s vital you try to carry on as normally as you can. A hotel like this would be a very reassuring place to go.”
The Grove was set up in 2011 by the charity Macmillan Caring
Locally. It has 28 rooms and can sleep 64 people. It costs from £51 a night, but you can get a grant from Macmillan if you can’t afford it. You can
bring family and friends, even children, too.
Deputy manager Philippa Baker, 38, says: “We provide a space where
people can come and feel safe, but get a break. As well as a restaurant and bar, we have an in-house beauty and massage therapist and entertainment, like live music.
“We also have discreet medical facilities, such as a 24-hour duty nurse, and specially adapted rooms. We have fridges for medicines and reduce our charges if the resident can’t eat proper meals. We don’t ask for deposits or cancellation fees – we know cancer patients may need to rearrange due to their health.
“People arrive exhausted – and their spouses and children, too. Seeing the difference relaxing makes to them is incredible. One woman was full of pent-up anger
over what had happened to her husband, but she did tai chi classes and left here a different person – she’d found something to focus her anger on and come to terms with his diagnosis.”
For Sandy, The Grove changed her life. She’d been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer that caused her to develop tumours on her soft tissue in December 2015. After an op in January, she was declared “cancer free” in April. But in August scans showed it had returned and she had multiple tumours and that, without treatment, she was looking at five or six weeks to live.
life Changing
Determined to see her son, Luke, now 28, get married and her daughter, Alicia, now 25, give birth that year, Sandy had chemo, knowing it could only prolong her life if she was lucky, not cure her. She says: “I lost 3 / st and didn’t 1
2 feel able to go out. I felt alone – despite amazing support from my friends and family.”
In despair she trawled the internet for support groups and found The Grove hotel. She says: “When I got there, I felt happy outside my home for the first time since I was diagnosed. There were others there who’d lost their hair, couldn’t eat much and who might doze off, just like me, so I didn’t feel self-conscious. I could sit in the bar with a drink and go for walks along the beach – ordinary things other people take for granted that I had lost hope of being able to do again as I’d lost my confidence.”
Sandy credits her week-long stay at The Grove for helping her decide to remarry her exhusband Mark on 14 December.
She says: “We split 20 years ago after 10 years, but it was amicable – I don’t think we ever fell out of love, but we grew apart. A terminal diagnosis focuses your mind and we wanted to be together. We married at the same hotel as our first wedding. It was incredibly moving.”
The best ‘Treatment’
Another guest at The Grove, Roz Cowan, 69, has been there four times since being diagnosed with advanced bowel cancer in 2011. She says: “People who haven’t had cancer don’t realise how debilitating the worry can be and the lack of confidence. Being in a place you feel ‘normal’ again is one of the best tonics imaginable.”
As for Sandy, she has already defied medics, and hopes she continues to do so. She says: “I feel like I’m living again – not just existing – and that makes all the difference in the world.”