HELP BOYS TO OPEN UP

Getting your sons to talk about their emotions at a young age will prepare them for becoming great partners and fathers

here has been huge T coverage of Prince Harry’s recent admission that he bottled up his feelings after losing his mum, only for them to resurface years later. Boys and men are told to “man up,” but this attitude is dangerous.

I have two sons, and from the moment they could understand I’ve talked to them about feelings and equipped them with a strong emotional vocabulary.

The reason I’m so passionate about doing this lies in the tragic statistic that suicide is the number one killer of young men under the age of 45, with 75 per cent of suicides committed by males. Too many men are burdened with the belief that they should be strong, and if they show sensitivity or become upset, there’s a profound fear they’ll be ridiculed. As a result, so many young men feel isolated and lonely.

As a mum, you can do so much to prevent your sons from feeling that they need to hide the way they feel. Take time to catch up with your boys to see how they’re feeling – this offers them a safe space where they can discuss their concerns. The sooner you start this, the easier it will be in the long-term. If your son knows it’s OK to show his feelings, then that will increase his confidence.

I’ve taught my boys that tears serve as an important function to calm down. This means they don’t feel embarrassed by crying. If you have a husband or partner who thinks boys should show no sensitive emotions, remind them that real men are unafraid of their feelings. Your son needs to see you disagree with an unhelpful point of view.

Finally, remember that you want your boys to grow up to be loving, open and happy men, who become great partners and fathers – and that begins at home.