IS IT TIME TO THINK ABOUT A FRIENDSHIP DETOX?
Life can be hectic, so don’t agree to attend every social engagement that you’re invited to. Instead, carefully consider which mates you really want to see
We all wish we had W more time to spend socialising with friends, but balancing busy jobs and family lives means finding space to see close mates and keeping up with endless social engagements can be really difficult. The worst part is, you often end up feeling wracked with guilt when you agree to meet, then find yourself cancelling last minute because you’re just too busy or exhausted to attend.
We all strive to be the “perfect” friend, partner, colleague and family member, but if we innocently forget to wish a friend happy birthday or fail to make it to a close pal’s engagement drinks, we can feel terrible. If you’re experiencing these highs and lows, it’s time to prioritise the relationships that are really important, and stop beating yourself up for not managing to devote yourself to the others.
prioritise feeling good
Rather than trying to keep friendships alive when they’ve clearly outlived their shelf life, prioritise the friends who make you laugh, listen to you, are interested in what you have to say and make you feel good. Look at your month ahead, and find the amount of time you can devote to these friends, then make a plan. It puts you in control and enables your friends to see that, although you’re busy, you are trying your best to share what time you do have with them.
it’s ok not to go
Also, learn to stop being a pleaser. When someone asks you to go to an event that you simply don’t want to attend, decline politely and thank them for thinking of you. Rather than automatically agreeing, think whether you can and want to go. It’s much better to free up that invitation for someone else to use than to waste it further down the line, as this causes petty resentments and, on occasion, the unnecessary breakdown of friendships.
Life is better when you’re looking after yourself, so start prioritising your needs instead of always being concerned about other people’s. You’ll find that you have more time to spend on yourself and the friends who matter the most to you.