‘This is so personal to me’

emma kenny

Closer psychologist Emma Kenny lives in Manchester. For her the attack is still raw, as her 14-year-old son Tyde went to school with one of the victims, Olivia Campbell, 15, and 30 people in his year have been affected by the tragedy.

She says: “For me this is very hard – it’s the city I love and call home. But in the same way as the IRA didn’t break us with their bombs, this won’t either – though it is extremely hard to endure. I often quote statistics about how unlikely you are to be caught up in a terrorist attack, that you’re more likely to die choking, but they ring a bit hollow in these circumstances.

A girl who was caught up in the bombing – and had to crawl over dead bodies to escape – contacted me to say she didn’t think she was normal as she was ‘fine with it.’ That’s shock. In the immediate aftermath a child might cry, but then they appear to be OK, happily running around the playground the next day. It takes time to process it.”

HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT TERRORISM

Emma adds: “Many parents will be wondering how to discuss the bombing with their kids. If they’re under six it’s usually simpler – they still believe what you say unquestioningly and are easily reassured. Explain that sometimes people do bad things, but it’s very rare.

“It’s more difficult as they get older. They will be looking for information on social media, and questioning what you tell them. The key thing is to keep the lines of communication open and ask questions – for example: ‘What have you read today?’ or ‘Have you heard anything that’s worried you?’ Look out for any changes in their behaviour, especially if they seem withdrawn.

“If they try to cut themselves off from their social circle or don’t want to go out, they may need therapy and you should speak to your GP. The key is to keep talking, keep asking how they’re feeling and let them know they can always talk.” l This Newsround video can help children understand what happened in the Manchester terror attack: www.bbc.co.uk/ newsround/40019250 l To donate money to the families of those who were killed or injured, please visit www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/westandtogethermanchester