Doctor Christian: “Why I’m opening up about my depression”

After reading insensitive Tweets from Piers Morgan about depression, Dr Christian feels he can no longer hide his own battle

I never planned I to Tweet about my depression, but when I saw Piers Morgan’s completely irresponsible posts, I felt compelled to respond.

Piers referred to men opening up about their experience of depression as a “new trend of male public soul-bearing” and said: “Time for our gender to get a grip, methinks. Life’s tough – man up.” I can’t think of two more damaging words in the English language than “man up” in this context. Suicide is still the single biggest killer of men aged under 45 in the UK.

BE HONEST

I’m a “TV doctor,” so I’ve always felt I should be infallible, but that’s incredibly damaging. People see that I have a good job and I go to glamorous events, so they wonder what I have to be depressed about – but depression isn’t about your job, your earnings or your social life. It can affect anyone.

People think doctors don’t get ill because they make people better, but as we spend all day looking after others, truth is we can forget to look after ourselves.

As I’m on TV, I have to be confident and funny or I’m not going to get any work, but that’s “smiling depression” – you put on a smile so that you seem fine, but behind closed doors you’re struggling. I’ve missed many events because I just couldn’t face them – putting on the smile was too difficult.

I was more scared about admitting I suffer with depression than I was about coming out as gay. I honestly think that, in this country, there’s more stigma in mental illness than in homosexuality today.

TALK MORE

My depression meant I had a total lack of confidence and belief in myself. I didn’t exercise and I didn’t look after myself very well. I never felt suicidal and I never self-harmed, but I self-neglected. I didn’t like myself enough to look after myself. I’ve seen it in patients hundreds of times, but it doesn’t make it any easier to recognise it in yourself.

But the more I became aware of it, I had to think what I would advise as a doctor. Just recognising it made a huge

difference and I’ve found therapy life-changing. As a doctor, you bear the weight of other people’s problems quite a lot, so it’s good to talk. We could all benefit from talking more.

Aside from therapy, I gradually got back into exercise. I also make sure I’m getting out and about, rather than sitting at home and wallowing. But I haven’t taken antidepressants because I felt they might affect my decision-making at work.

ASK FOR HELP

I can’t pretend that you can get therapy through the NHS quickly and easily, but ask your doctor for help and get on a waiting list.

In the meantime, do what you can to look after yourself. Open up, use helplines, seek out charity support, lean on loved-ones, eat well, exercise, and ignore ridiculous comments from people like Piers Morgan.

Don’t bluster along and pretend everything’s fine. We need to learn to say we’re not OK and ask for help.”

For further information and advice, call Mind on 0300 123 3393 or visit www.mind.org.uk