don’t let big changes ruin your relationship

Lots of things can alter a person, from career moves to starting a family, but you can prevent life’s twists and turns from affecting you and your partner

t’s a huge myth to I suggest people don’t change, the truth is that people change all the time and that means that no matter how much you and your partner love each other, there will be moments where you both feel bored, disinterested, and generally less enthusiastic about your relationship.

One common occurrence in close partnerships is “projection;” where you blame difficult feelings like frustration, discontent, sadness and boredom on your partner, because it is easier than taking responsibility for the way you feel about your own life. Check if this is what you’re doing by imagining what your life would be missing if your man wasn’t in it.

Situations and interactions such as a new job, starting a family, redundancy, or meeting a new set of friends, all influence the way we think, and introduce us to new experiences and emotions. Sometimes this can make us feel a bit flat. The key is to let the dust settle without packing his bags.

Often, your partner is also going through lots of similar changes. If you both sit down and talk out your feelings, you will realise that you have more in common emotionally than you think. This will also provide a perfect opportunity for you to address the concerns you have about your relationship, and to explain what you feel you need for it to get back on track.

It’s very common for women to become baby focused when a little one arrives. Nature wants to make sure that your child is getting everything they need, so your hormones and instincts mean that for a period of time you have tunnel vision. For many men, this can feel like rejection and can lead to insecurities, which can be frustrating when you already have a new baby to look after. The key is patience on both sides, along with shared responsibility, which means you’re offering each another the love and support you both need for your relationship to thrive. Reassuring your man that you love him, but that understandably your focus is on your baby, can help to allay his fears and to put the change in your behaviour into perspective.

Successful relationships all encounter these problems, the key is to stay around long enough to sort them out.