Dr C: “Our takeaway culture is killing us”

Children need to be exposed to stress so they can develop strengths as adults. Emma explains how to do it right

Recently, my 12-yearold R son showed me a video of him doing parkour: jumping over obstacles and throwing himself from eye-watering heights. I congratulated him, then asked him never to show me such a video again!

I’ve always allowed both my boys to take risks, some of which have worked out, others that have resulted in the odd battle scar. But if you want your children to succeed as adults, they need to see the world as their adventure playground, because every experience has value – even the painful ones.

Parents instinctively protect their kids, but we need to allow them to fight some battles without us, and we must respect their choices, even when they’re not choices we’d have made. Life is full of challenges, and the only way that children can unravel them is through exposure.

Research agrees; children who are able to deal with challenging situations are more likely to thrive at work and in personal relationships later. That doesn’t mean you should expose kids to “adult” woes or they could end up anxious or angry. But let them take educated risks; climb a tree you think is too high, or audition for the school musical even if they’re tone deaf.

I would never have been able to throw myself from a great height as a child because it would have terrified me, but in allowing my son to follow his own path, free from my fear, he may find himself scaling far greater mountains than I could ever have dared.