‘I feel guilty but I don’t know what else I can do’

simon, 46, an accountant from Birmingham, explains: “I love my wife and my eight-year-old son and I can think of nothing worse than my family breaking up.

“my wife and I rarely argue – we actually get on very well. We used to have a great sex life – having sex at least once a day. But then, a few years ago, our circumstances changed. I lost my job and we had to move house. after that something shifted in our relationship. although she has never said it – and I have asked – I think she blamed me and was angry and that’s the reason we’re not having sex at all.

“We have discussed it and she says she can’t explain it, she just doesn’t feel sexual towards me any more. I am 99 per cent sure that’s the truth and that she isn’t having an affair.

“despite the fact that I’m now in a better paid job and we have a nicer house, we haven’t been able to get back to having a sex life – it’s as if it died for her. and now I’ve put on weight through comfort eating, so I don’t feel attractive enough to even attempt to seduce her.

“But where does that leave me? I both want and need sex, ideally with her – if she wanted to do it then I would never look at anyone else. But I’m very highly sexed and, although you can masturbate, it just isn’t the same.

“It was several years before I decided to go to an escort – I visited her in desperation. I felt as though I was going mad. I only go very rarely – probably every six months – but the release when I do is amazing.

“I don’t want to have an affair, and I definitely don’t want to fall in love with anyone else and risk my marriage ending.

“I do feel guilty, I’m spending money – £150 a time – that could be spent on our family, and I am cheating on my wife. But I can’t think of another way to cope. I don’t think she knows I see an escort, but she told me to go elsewhere ages ago. But even so, I don’t feel I can risk ruining our relationship by telling her the truth.”