RELATIONSHIPS HOW TO KNOW IF YOU SHOULD GET BACK WITH YOUR EX

Relationships come in all shapes and sizes, but is a guy trying to win you back a sign of Hollywood-style romance, or is it a cause for worry? Emma explains the difference

Avideo went viral recently featuring musician Luke Howard vowing to play the piano non-stop on Bristol’s College Green until his ex-girlfriend got in touch. It split the internet – some people thought it was the ultimate romantic gesture; others thought it showed Luke being controlling because he was unwilling to accept his relationship was over.

Luke aside, this sort of behaviour is also a familiar plot of romantic movies. The guy realises that he let the perfect girl go, and he then spends the next two hours grafting to get her back – and we all bawl our eyes out when he does, just before the credits roll.

However, in reality, a guy refusing to move on from a relationship that has ended may be less “sweet,” and even unnerving in the very rare cases that escalate into stalking.

Here are some things to keep in mind. If you’ve made it explicitly clear that the relationship is over, and that you have no intention of ever reconciling, it’s unacceptable for him to persist. In fact, this probably highlights why you actually split up in the first place – who wants a guy who never listens?

If he continues to make unwanted advances, compose an email telling him that you feel his constant undesired attention is bordering on harassment. Inform him that you will be making a note of every uninvited message, phone call or physical appearance to share with the police if he doesn’t let up. By making it apparent how seriously you’re taking his behaviour, you’ll send a clear message that he should stop. In most cases, this is very effective.

If you still like a guy, but he’s hurt you in the past, there may be hope for reconciliation. That can only happen if he proves he’s changed, and accepts he played a part in the relationship ending. If he’s grovelling but respectful, it’s likely he’s being genuine. But if he’s demanding, you should steer clear – this reeks of control and won’t make for a happy future together.

It isn’t easy loving someone who no longer loves you, but most lovesick exes will move on eventually. Sometimes they just need to be pushed in the right direction.