KEEPING YOUR ROMANCE ON TRACK AFTER KIDS

In the first years of your child’s life, it’s all too easy to become consumed by parenting – here, Emma argues the importance of nurturing your relationship as well

Irelish my role as I a parent; being a mum has been the single most fulfilling aspect of my life. I’ve also been perpetually knackered since it began, so that’s 15 years of near exhaustion under my belt, with no sign of it changing any time soon!

If you have kids, the likelihood is that you put their needs first, so finding space for you and your other half comes bottom of your list of priorities. In fact, research has shown that more than one in three people – 39 per cent – can’t remember the last time they went out with their partner.

But scientists have found some things can help you bond, however little time, money or access to babysitters you have.

First, hug for longer. The average hug lasts around three seconds, but research has shown that to maximise your body’s release of the bonding hormone oxytocin, you need to squeeze for 20 seconds.

A movie together is great, but pick a drama. When US researchers gave people either a factual documentary to watch or an emotional drama, they found that the drama viewers felt far more bonded.

And rather than making a big slap up meal, or going to a fancy restaurant, make each other a cuppa – every day. Research that followed 373 couples for more than 28 years showed that frequent small acts of kindness make you far more likely to feel happy in your partnership.

Finally, take inspiration from long-distance relationships. A study revealed that greater distance led to more intimacy, because partners shared more about their experiences and how they felt via phone calls, texts and email. Long-distance couples disclosed themselves more, made more effort and felt their partners did the same.

If you can get a babysitter, don’t feel guilty going out for a nice meal without your kids. It’s actually essential for them, because what your children really want is parents who love each other. So if that means spending some of your hardearned cash on yourselves, instead of your children, do it. Remember, happy families are balanced families.