‘It gave us the jolt we both badly needed’

Sarah Simmonds, 35, from East Yorkshire, was six months pregnant with their fourth child when she discovered her IT consultant husband Mark, 50, was cheating. Astonishingly, Sarah, who works in retail, not only forgave him, but they now have a fifth child.

She says, “Four years ago, an email popped up on my husband’s computer while I was on it from a woman asking if he ‘was around tonight.’ I felt sick, and further searching showed that he’d joined up to an extra-marital affairs website.

“I confronted him and he confessed, explaining he’d seen her twice. I was six months pregnant and couldn’t imagine how I’d cope alone, so I allowed him to stay, but we couldn’t share a room as I was too hurt. He explained he’d felt neglected and that our energy was taken up by the children. He said he’d done it for the attention. It hurt, but there was truth in what he said.

“It took two years to forgive Mark, but I loved him. The affair really did help us, as it made us both more aware of our relationship. We now make a huge effort to make time for each other. The affair gave us the jolt we needed, otherwise we might have carried on drifting apart. At first I worried it could happen again, but I made a conscious decision to forgive him.”