Closer (UK)

FALL IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN!

Lots of people vow to “fall in love” as their New Year’s resolution, but that doesn’t just apply to single ladies. Here’s Emma’s guide to igniting the flame in your romance

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veryone wants E to fall in love, as it’s a truly remarkable feeling. You get those delicious butterflie­s in your tummy and you feel like you’re walking on air but, over time, these feelings diminish and it’s easy to find yourself taking love for granted. STICK TO SIMPLE RULES My parents have been married for 53 years and I have often asked myself how on earth they’ve managed it without killing one another – or at least running out of things to say.

They say it’s down to simple rules that include always holding hands when they go out, never going to bed on an argument, sharing the household chores and being grateful for one another’s existence.

My husband and I are trying to follow suit and I genuinely feel that it’s helping us remain in love and to keep hold of some of those fuzzy feelings experience­d at the beginning of our relationsh­ip. MAKE AN EFFORT EVERY SINGLE DAY Love needs to be worked on constantly and, if you don’t prioritise your relationsh­ip, it’s easy for the cracks to show. It isn’t enough to have a date night once in a while, it’s about daily appreciati­on – thinking about each other’s needs and working to meet them.

I have worked with many couples who believe that they have fallen out of love only to discover that they had simply stopped being interested in one another’s lives and had stopped trying to make the relationsh­ip work. This apathy leads to splits and divorces, when they simply needed to relearn how to communicat­e.

If you feel your relationsh­ip needs a romance MOT, start by reflecting on all the great qualities your man has. Maybe he makes you laugh, or perhaps he is fabulous at DIY. Focusing on his positives immediatel­y makes you feel better about your relationsh­ip. Hug him more – this encourages the release of oxytocin, automatica­lly making you feel closer to each other. THINK ABOUT THE BIGGER PICTURE Stop sweating the small stuff – so what if he leaves the toilet seat up, the world won’t end and it doesn’t mean he’s wilfully ignoring your needs. Letting go of little niggles will vastly improve your connection.

Finally, take time to listen to each other. Whether it’s sitting at the table, chatting over dinner, or snuggled up in bed, regular quality communicat­ion can transform even the most lacklustre relationsh­ip into a far more fulfilled lifetime together. New year, new attitude!

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