HOW TO WORK OUT WHO YOU CAN REALLY TRUST

Research shows the average Brit only trusts three people and one in five don’t trust anyone. Emma reveals the truth about trust!

When people are W asked what matters in close relationships, they often say trust – yet many of us feel it’s missing from our lives. The average Brit admits they can only trust three people, and one in ten feels they can’t even trust their mum.

LET PEOPLE IN

If you want closeness, you have to put your trust in that bond, because you can never truly be yourself unless you let someone into your world warts and all, but this does leave you open to getting hurt. Most of us know what it feels like to confide in a friend only to have them break your confidence, and, sadly, lots of us will have had an unfaithful partner. These experiences hurt, but it’s important to separate them as extreme betrayals.

ACCEPT WHITE LIES

To some degree we all break people’s trust and let them down, not because we are con artists, but because we are human. Think of the little white lies you tell: when you conveniently develop a headache because you can’t be bothered to go out, for example. These little lies are all breeches of trust and could all cause hurt. Accepting that even your best mate could let you down helps you to have realistic relationships.

RECOGNISE RED FLAGS

If, on the other hand, someone lies regularly, or tries to cause you trouble, it’s a sign you need to erase them from your life. If someone tells you private things about others, they’re probably doing the same with anything you’ve told them. A good sign of a trustworthy partner is that when they are feeling challenged by a situation, they show their vulnerability and try to improve it by connecting with you about it. Less trustworthy types can fly into a rage, get sulky or become very down. They then seek an ego boost elsewhere, hence cheating rather than talking things through.

Big red flags and betrayals aside, my golden rule is to give people a chance, because whatever you’ve experienced before, there are more heroes out there than villains.