HOW TO WORK OUT WHO YOU CAN RE­ALLY TRUST

Re­search shows the av­er­age Brit only trusts three peo­ple and one in five don’t trust any­one. Emma re­veals the truth about trust!

Closer (UK) - - Life Balance -

When peo­ple are W asked what mat­ters in close re­la­tion­ships, they of­ten say trust – yet many of us feel it’s miss­ing from our lives. The av­er­age Brit ad­mits they can only trust three peo­ple, and one in ten feels they can’t even trust their mum.

LET PEO­PLE IN

If you want close­ness, you have to put your trust in that bond, be­cause you can never truly be your­self un­less you let some­one into your world warts and all, but this does leave you open to get­ting hurt. Most of us know what it feels like to con­fide in a friend only to have them break your con­fi­dence, and, sadly, lots of us will have had an un­faith­ful part­ner. These ex­pe­ri­ences hurt, but it’s im­por­tant to sep­a­rate them as ex­treme be­tray­als.

AC­CEPT WHITE LIES

To some de­gree we all break peo­ple’s trust and let them down, not be­cause we are con artists, but be­cause we are hu­man. Think of the lit­tle white lies you tell: when you con­ve­niently de­velop a headache be­cause you can’t be both­ered to go out, for ex­am­ple. These lit­tle lies are all breeches of trust and could all cause hurt. Ac­cept­ing that even your best mate could let you down helps you to have re­al­is­tic re­la­tion­ships.

RECOG­NISE RED FLAGS

If, on the other hand, some­one lies reg­u­larly, or tries to cause you trou­ble, it’s a sign you need to erase them from your life. If some­one tells you pri­vate things about oth­ers, they’re prob­a­bly do­ing the same with any­thing you’ve told them. A good sign of a trust­wor­thy part­ner is that when they are feel­ing chal­lenged by a sit­u­a­tion, they show their vul­ner­a­bil­ity and try to improve it by con­nect­ing with you about it. Less trust­wor­thy types can fly into a rage, get sulky or be­come very down. They then seek an ego boost else­where, hence cheat­ing rather than talk­ing things through.

Big red flags and be­tray­als aside, my golden rule is to give peo­ple a chance, be­cause what­ever you’ve ex­pe­ri­enced be­fore, there are more heroes out there than vil­lains.

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