Is watch­ing porn putting women off men?

With a surge in fe­male porn users, we ex­am­ine the im­pact of raunchy videos and ask whether they’re hav­ing a neg­a­tive ef­fect on our re­la­tion­ships…

Closer (UK) - - Contents - By Poppy Danby

uck­ing her T chil­dren into bed and switch­ing on her lap­top, Natalie Mitchell ends ev­ery night with a bit of “me time”.

But rather than sip­ping on a glass of wine or en­joy­ing a re­lax­ing bath, the mum of two prefers to un­wind by watch­ing porn. And her raunchy habit leaves her so sat­is­fied, she says she never wants to sleep with an­other man ever again.

Natalie, who lives in Brix­ton, Lon­don, with her chil­dren aged 12 and ten, says, “I’d watched porn be­fore, but it was only af­ter a break-up in 2008 that I re­ally be­came hooked.

“Now I watch porn daily. Al­though I haven’t had sex in a year, I’ve never been so sat­is­fied. Some peo­ple are shocked by my ad­dic­tion, but I’ve given up try­ing with men be­cause they are a waste of time.

“Porn al­lows me to have fun with­out the drama of a re­la­tion­ship. All I have to worry about is pleas­ing my­self.”

Natalie is just one of a grow­ing num­ber of women who have started watch­ing raunchy videos on­line.

Last month, the in­ter­net’s most pop­u­lar X-rated site, Porn­hub, re­vealed that its top search in 2017 was “porn for women” – which rose 359 per cent among fe­male users in just one year.

RAIS­ING EX­PEC­TA­TIONS

Porn site xham­ster has seen a 2.4 per cent in­crease in fe­male view­ers across the globe. And last year, a sur­vey by Youporn showed that 18 per cent of fe­male view­ers watched porn daily.

Sex and re­la­tion­ships ther­a­pist Lor­raine Mcgin­lay says, “Porn can be healthy and al­lows us to ex­plore our fan­tasies and ed­u­cate our­selves. It can also help us be­come more com­fort­able with our bod­ies and learn what types of things make us feel good and or­gasm.

“How­ever, for many peo­ple, porn can be­come a re­place­ment for sex. It is eas­ier, al­ways avail­able, full of va­ri­ety and will cater for any­thing you want. This can be­come prob­lem­atic as it raises women’s ex­pec­ta­tions of men, may make it harder for them to or­gasm through reg­u­lar sex and ul­ti­mately put them off hav­ing real re­la­tion­ships. Some porn is also ex­ploita­tive to women, so it’s im­por­tant to think of the con­se­quences of what we’re watch­ing.”

Natalie, who works as an an­i­mal carer, knows all too well how sex­u­ally lib­er­at­ing porn can be for women.

She ex­plains, “I first watched

❛SELF-PLEASURING WITH X-RATED VIDEOS IS BET­TER THAN SEX WITH A MAN❜

porn when I was 17. A group of us went to my friend’s house and we de­cided to look at some raunchy videos to­gether on­line. We Googled ‘gang bangs’ and found the films within a mat­ter of sec­onds.

“None of us had ever had sex, so we found the videos quite shock­ing and funny, rather than arous­ing.”

Af­ter­wards, Natalie be­gan watch­ing porn more of­ten. But it wasn’t un­til she broke up with the fa­ther of her chil­dren in 2008 that it be­came part of her daily rou­tine.

She says, “When I had a boyfriend, I didn’t feel the need to watch porn be­cause we had sex fairly reg­u­larly. How­ever, when we broke up, I was left with two young chil­dren and needed a way to re­duce my stress lev­els and re­lax.

“I tried loads of things from ex­er­cis­ing to med­i­ta­tion, but noth­ing seemed to help. And I don’t re­ally en­joy drink­ing, so I turned to porn in­stead and dis­cov­ered that self­plea­sur­ing re­lieved any ten­sion that I was feel­ing and was of­ten bet­ter than sex with a man.”

Natalie soon be­gan to watch porn nearly ev­ery night for at least an hour and a half.

She says, “I like films where men and women have fairly standard sex. Or some­times I en­joy videos where the man is slightly older – be­cause that’s what turns me on.

“I only own one dildo and I don’t have any X-rated DVDS be­cause I wouldn’t want my chil­dren to find them ly­ing around as they’re at quite an im­pres­sion­able age.

“So I al­ways make sure that both of them are in bed and re­mem­ber to lock my door be­fore start­ing a porn ses­sion. Luck­ily, nei­ther of them has ever walked in.”

SEX­U­ALLY LIB­ER­AT­ING

She ex­plains, “My friends know that I watch porn reg­u­larly, but they just find it funny. I’m glad that more women are be­com­ing view­ers as it is sex­u­ally lib­er­at­ing and proves that we don’t need a man to be sat­is­fied.

“I can please my­self bet­ter than any man can and that’s a fact. Men have never treated me very well and even if I did get into an­other re­la­tion­ship, I’d still con­tinue to watch porn on my own.

“Sex just causes prob­lems – you can get preg­nant, catch sex­u­ally trans­mit­ted dis­eases, and you have to think about some­body else’s feel­ings. I don’t need emo­tional sup­port from a man be­cause I get all the love I need from my chil­dren.”

And Natalie says that watch­ing porn has put her off hav­ing a re­la­tion­ship.

“I know I watch a lot of videos, but I’d never let my habit get out of con­trol or af­fect other things that are go­ing on in my life,” she says.

“I pre­fer porn to men – and the fig­ures show that I’m not alone in that.”

Natalie Mitchell watches porn ev­ery day

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