Is watching porn putting women off men?
With a surge in female porn users, we examine the impact of raunchy videos and ask whether they’re having a negative effect on our relationships…
ucking her T children into bed and switching on her laptop, Natalie Mitchell ends every night with a bit of “me time”.
But rather than sipping on a glass of wine or enjoying a relaxing bath, the mum of two prefers to unwind by watching porn. And her raunchy habit leaves her so satisfied, she says she never wants to sleep with another man ever again.
Natalie, who lives in Brixton, London, with her children aged 12 and ten, says, “I’d watched porn before, but it was only after a break-up in 2008 that I really became hooked.
“Now I watch porn daily. Although I haven’t had sex in a year, I’ve never been so satisfied. Some people are shocked by my addiction, but I’ve given up trying with men because they are a waste of time.
“Porn allows me to have fun without the drama of a relationship. All I have to worry about is pleasing myself.”
Natalie is just one of a growing number of women who have started watching raunchy videos online.
Last month, the internet’s most popular X-rated site, Pornhub, revealed that its top search in 2017 was “porn for women” – which rose 359 per cent among female users in just one year.
RAISING EXPECTATIONS
Porn site xhamster has seen a 2.4 per cent increase in female viewers across the globe. And last year, a survey by Youporn showed that 18 per cent of female viewers watched porn daily.
Sex and relationships therapist Lorraine Mcginlay says, “Porn can be healthy and allows us to explore our fantasies and educate ourselves. It can also help us become more comfortable with our bodies and learn what types of things make us feel good and orgasm.
“However, for many people, porn can become a replacement for sex. It is easier, always available, full of variety and will cater for anything you want. This can become problematic as it raises women’s expectations of men, may make it harder for them to orgasm through regular sex and ultimately put them off having real relationships. Some porn is also exploitative to women, so it’s important to think of the consequences of what we’re watching.”
Natalie, who works as an animal carer, knows all too well how sexually liberating porn can be for women.
She explains, “I first watched
❛SELF-PLEASURING WITH X-RATED VIDEOS IS BETTER THAN SEX WITH A MAN❜
porn when I was 17. A group of us went to my friend’s house and we decided to look at some raunchy videos together online. We Googled ‘gang bangs’ and found the films within a matter of seconds.
“None of us had ever had sex, so we found the videos quite shocking and funny, rather than arousing.”
Afterwards, Natalie began watching porn more often. But it wasn’t until she broke up with the father of her children in 2008 that it became part of her daily routine.
She says, “When I had a boyfriend, I didn’t feel the need to watch porn because we had sex fairly regularly. However, when we broke up, I was left with two young children and needed a way to reduce my stress levels and relax.
“I tried loads of things from exercising to meditation, but nothing seemed to help. And I don’t really enjoy drinking, so I turned to porn instead and discovered that selfpleasuring relieved any tension that I was feeling and was often better than sex with a man.”
Natalie soon began to watch porn nearly every night for at least an hour and a half.
She says, “I like films where men and women have fairly standard sex. Or sometimes I enjoy videos where the man is slightly older – because that’s what turns me on.
“I only own one dildo and I don’t have any X-rated DVDS because I wouldn’t want my children to find them lying around as they’re at quite an impressionable age.
“So I always make sure that both of them are in bed and remember to lock my door before starting a porn session. Luckily, neither of them has ever walked in.”
SEXUALLY LIBERATING
She explains, “My friends know that I watch porn regularly, but they just find it funny. I’m glad that more women are becoming viewers as it is sexually liberating and proves that we don’t need a man to be satisfied.
“I can please myself better than any man can and that’s a fact. Men have never treated me very well and even if I did get into another relationship, I’d still continue to watch porn on my own.
“Sex just causes problems – you can get pregnant, catch sexually transmitted diseases, and you have to think about somebody else’s feelings. I don’t need emotional support from a man because I get all the love I need from my children.”
And Natalie says that watching porn has put her off having a relationship.
“I know I watch a lot of videos, but I’d never let my habit get out of control or affect other things that are going on in my life,” she says.
“I prefer porn to men – and the figures show that I’m not alone in that.”