GENDER NEUTRAL? JUST LET YOUR KIDS BE KIDS!
As celebs Paloma Faith and Pink reveal they won’t force gender norms on their kids, and more and more brands are launching unisex clothing lines, Emma says parents need to break stereotypes
A few weeks ago, A during a debate on gender-neutral parenting, I said I hadn’t really realised I was a girl until I went to secondary school. This was met with suspicion, but it’s the truth. My toys were primary colours and there was very little advertising, so the first I knew about the differences between girls and boys was at my all-girls school.
DON’T LIMIT OPTIONS
My parents helped me to think about who I was as an individual and never suggested I should feel limited because I was female. I am a big advocate of gender-neutral parenting, but I also think the term is misunderstood. I feel we should refer to it as gender equal because, like it or not, biology dictates physical differences between the sexes – but they shouldn’t create unequal opportunities for either gender.
LET THEM DREAM BIG!
You only have to look at the dressing-up options at toy shops to see the gender differences – boys are superheroes; girls are princesses. There are really powerful and unhelpful messages in toys’ marketing too, which reinforce these messages. You may not think that matters, but in studies where kids are asked to think about a career such as a surgeon, fire fighter or pilot, 90 per cent described them as being male. When they were asked to do the same with hairdresser, homemaker and nurse, they saw them as female. This has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with how we are raising kids.
I agree that refusing to name a child until they decide their gender is extreme, but that shouldn’t stop us acknowledging the evidence that strongly supports genderneutral parenting.
KNOW WHAT MATTERS
The best way to approach it is to ask yourself, “Do I want my child to feel equal to any other child, and do I want them to have exactly the same opportunities and freedoms throughout their lives?” If the answer is “yes”, teach them that their individual nature, intrinsic gifts and qualities, along with the choices they make, will define them – not their bits!