Incest sibling: “I bedded my long-lost brother two days after we met”
Debby Zutant hid her taboo relationship with her half-brother for a decade, before finally admitting the truth
When adoptee Debby Zutant W met her halfbrother, Joe Burns, for the first time aged 36, she felt a powerful attraction. But rather than deny her feelings, the pair quickly grew close. Within two days, they’d become intimate and, despite risking a prison sentence, they got married in July 2015. But, incredibly, the couple’s family and friends are all fully supportive of their controversial relationship.
Debby, now 49, says, “You can’t help who you fall in love with. Before Joe, I’d have sex with men, but it meant nothing. This was different – it was loving and kind.
“The next day, I felt horrified that we’d crossed a line but, deep down, I knew Joe was always going to be part of my life. You can’t experience a connection like that and just forget about it. Luckily, those closest to us have been very understanding.”
INSTANT ATTRACTION
Debby, who lives in Florida, USA, was adopted as a baby. She remembers a happy childhood with her adopted mum, who stayed at home to care for Debby and her brother, while her dad worked in insurance. But having always longed to know where she came from, she hired a private detective in 2003 to track down her birth family. She discovered that her birth mum had been forced to give her up after falling pregnant aged just 15. And her mum and two half-sisters lived just a few miles away from her in New York, while her biological dad lived close-by too.
A year later, she was thrilled to be introduced to her half-brother Joe by their uncle at the bar – who at 23 was 13 years her junior – where she worked. Joe lived nearby and the pair share the same father, although he’s sadly no longer alive.
“As soon as I saw Joe’s turquoise eyes, I felt an attraction, which caught me by surprise,” says Debby. “He invited me to dinner that night and, as I got ready, I felt excited, like I was preparing for a date. I told myself I shouldn’t be feeling that way and felt guilty.
“When we met up, it was great – we talked for hours about our childhoods and our shared love of the outdoors, and agreed to meet up again the next day at my house. We ended up sitting beside each other on the sofa and, making
the first move, I kissed him. It might sound strange, but I didn’t hesitate – something drew me to him. Before I knew it, we were having sex. At the time it didn’t feel weird, it felt totally natural. He stayed the night, but the next morning I was wracked with guilt. How could I have let myself do something so shameful? We didn’t speak about it; it was too awkward. Joe just went home.”
Confused, Debby researched online and learnt about Genetic Sexual Attraction, where biological relatives who meet for the first time as adults fall for each other.
SECRET ROMANCE
Debby says, “It was a relief to know I wasn’t alone, and it made me feel that if other couples like us could make their relationships work, then so could we. Joe didn’t want to acknowledge GSA. As far as he was concerned, we were in love – nothing else mattered.”
Joe, who was single, moved in with Debby later that week. At first, to friends and family, they were merely living together as brother and sister. Debby explains, “We decided to keep our relationship secret because we were scared how people would react. I’d read stories about couples getting abuse hurled at them in the street, or even being shopped to the police. We never held hands in public. Joe set up a fake bedroom for himself, so that when family visited, it wouldn’t be obvious. If my mum stayed, I’d sneak into his room in the night for a cuddle.”
After seven years, Debby and Joe moved to a new neighbourhood and started their own business putting on community art shows. In a place where no one knew them, they could finally live openly.
Debby says, “It made us realise we wanted to be honest with everyone so, after a decade of hiding the truth, I told my family. My hands were shaking as I called my adopted dad, but he admitted he’d suspected for years and was thrilled I’d met someone who loved me. My adopted mum was glad I’d found someone special as was my birth mum. And my friends were pleased because they could see how happy I was, as were our aunts, uncles and cousins. I was so shocked but so relieved. Sadly, mine and Joe’s dad died seven years earlier, so he never knew the truth – but we hope he’d be happy for us.”
HAPPILY EVER AFTER
Three years ago, the couple made the risky decision to marry. Debby says, “We could be sent to prison, but the chances are slim. As I was adopted, our parents’ names are different on our birth certificates. It’s not something we let ourselves worry about. Getting married was important to us, it was our way of telling the world we weren’t ashamed. We won’t have kids, but that’s because I’ve never been maternal.
“Joe makes me happier than I thought possible and our love life is great. We’re so close, and I think that’s partly due to being blood related. We share a bond other couples don’t. But we don’t even think about the fact we’re brother and sister. It doesn’t matter to us – or anyone else. I’m lucky I’ve found my soulmate.”
❛MY DAD WAS THRILLED – HE COULD SEE HOW HAPPY I WAS❜ RIGHT ALIGNED