Miss Piggy: “I’d beat Gemma in a diva-off”
Closer’s Rachel Corcoran meets the legendary muppet to talk style, dating and why she’s got her eye on Gemma Collins…
She’s the original selfconfessed S diva and Miss Piggy is never happier than when hogging the limelight. With a toss of her blonde mane and a fix of her beady-eyed stare, she can reduce grown men to, well, muppets. So it’s no surprise that when we caught up with her, the porcine legend was keen to talk about a new diva on the block – Gemma Collins.
The former TOWIE star has made a bit of a name for herself of late, having been slammed for her prima donna behaviour on Celebs Go Dating. During the show’s initial mixer, where the stars mingle with potential dates, she was criticised by viewers for playing on her phone rather than chatting to people. She also stormed out when one date branded her a “diva” for turning up late, and she criticised another for referring to her as “love”.
But Miss Piggy – who’s been catching up with British culture and reality TV ahead of the Muppets first-ever live UK shows this July – heartily approves of Gemma’s behaviour.
DATING MATINEES
“I don’t see anything out of the ordinary”, she says, fluttering her eyelashes. “If she keeps acting that way, I may have to sue her for copyright infringement, but I think she should want to be a diva like me. As we say in the diva business, ‘to the spoiled goes the victory!’”
And when we ask her who would win in a diva-off, Miss Piggy is as confident as ever. “No contest!” she declares. “Moi! Puh-leaze!”
Is Miss Piggy always so self-assured, we wonder? “Oh, yes,” she insists. “There was a moment a few years ago when I doubted myself, but then I realised it was because I hadn’t eaten dessert. One chocolate cheesecake later and I was more confident than ever. Try it. It works!”
Miss Piggy is keen on dishing out advice and has yet more for Gemma, whose dating life has hit the headlines lately. She’s found herself torn between three men – Laurence Hearn, who she met on Celebs Go Dating, on/off boyfriend Stephen Mortimer, who has spent time in jail for GBH and stealing jewellery, and her ex James “Arg” Argent.
It may sound like a lot to cope with, but Miss Piggy – who has been single since calling off her long-term romance with Kermit the Frog in 2015 – thinks Gemma should step up her game even more. She advises, “Don’t limit yourself to only three men. Ever since I dropped the frog, I’m seeing someone new every night… and doing menmatinees on Saturday and Wednesday!
“Two is the minimum amount of men I’ve dated in one go. I prefer to have at least a dozen to choose from. One never knows who will match my mood of the moment.”
Of course, Gemma isn’t the only celeb receiving dating tips from Miss Piggy. But while many aspire to her high levels of diva greatness, Miss Piggy says there are only a few who succeed. She tell us, “Oh, there are so many celebrities who want to be like me: Bey (Beyoncé), Jennifer (Lawrence), Scarlett (Johansson), and so on… and they do a fine job, given that they are not moi. As for who gets it wrong, I never throw shade on any celebrity – unless they attack first.”
FALLING IN LOVE
Miss Piggy and Kermit’s relationship has been followed avidly by fans of The Muppet Show since it began in 1976. Originally, Miss Piggy had to do all the chasing, with Kermit consistently turning her down. But eventually the pair fell in love and dated until 1990, when they decided to take a break. They resumed their relationship, but ended things for good almost three years ago. Despite the duo’s lengthy history, the sassy pig barely gives a thought to her ex.
She seems confused when we mention him, saying, “Kermit? Kermit? Oh, you mean the frog I used to date! Oh, I’m still very fond of him and we still work together (and are fabulous, especially in our upcoming live show – The Muppets Take The O2 in July). But ‘love’ him? Well, let’s just keep him guessing, shall we?”
Working with an ex could be tricky, but luckily it hasn’t been an issue for Miss Piggy and Kermit. She assures us, “It’s not that difficult. In fact, it gives one a chance to show them what a fantastic
time you’re having and how fabulously happy you are, while they’re still sitting there plucking their banjo and pining for you to come back.” She adds, “I don’t get heartaches, I give them. As for how soon to start dating? I started immediately and haven’t let up since.”
Incredibly, Miss Piggy barely seems to have aged since she first graced our screens in 1976. While she won’t tell us how long it takes her to get ready (it’s a “trade secret”, she explains) she does reveal that she has a 24/7 styling team.
BOTOX FANATIC
She adds, “When you’re a diva, you never know when you’ll need to look incredible at a moment’s notice. I have stylists, make-up artists, lighting and camera people on stand-by at all times. I’d love to tell you their names, but I don’t know them. I usually just say, ‘Hey you, with that brush thingy, I’m getting shiny. Dust me down!’”
She’s also not above getting a little help to keep her young. She confesses, “I don’t have to stay young, I am young. An I have no intention of getting older. Let’s put it this way, if I have any more work done, my face may have to be reassigned for light industry. I use everything. In fact, parts of moi are 100 per cent Botox. If it makes you look younger, use it. And if it doesn’t work, find a fabulous and very expensive way to cover it up.”
‘Don’t limit yourself to only three men’
● The Muppets Take The O2 takes place on 13 and 14 July. Visit www.aegpresents.co.uk