HOW TO COPE IF YOU DREAD MOTHER’S DAY

If you’ve lost your mum, are struggling to have a family of your own, or have a strained relationship with your parents, Mother’s Day can be tough. Emma says be kind to yourself

Mother’s Day should M be a happy occasion but, for some women, it can be tinged with sadness; a yearly reminder that they either can’t have a family, have a strained relationship with their parents, or they have lost their mum.

DIFFICULT REMINDERS

The celebration can be incredibly tough if you are struggling to conceive, or can’t have a baby, because everywhere you turn there are reminders of something you would rather forget.

And it isn’t just about the babies you may or may not have given birth to, it can also provoke emotions around the relationship you have with your own mum. If it’s strained, or you have fallen out altogether, it can be a trigger for bad memories, and can mean you spend the day comparing your mum to those of your friends, who appear to count theirs as a best friend.

If you have lost your mum, rather than feeling like celebrating, the event can make your grief seem even more devastating. That’s understandable, because all of a sudden you don’t have to buy a card, and you can’t pick up the phone to tell her you love her. Your sadness makes total sense.

SPOIL YOURSELF

If you are secretly dreading Mother’s Day, then make it a day that’s all about you instead. Plan something indulgent, like going for a massage, or meeting the girls for coffee and cake. If you can’t face socialising, then allow yourself a true day off; curl up on your sofa with a boxset and have some unadulterated “me time”.

Don’t suffer in silence, because there will be people in your life who totally appreciate and understand how you feel. They will be only too happy to offer you a shoulder to cry on, or a space to talk, either of which could make you feel happier.

IT’S OK TO BE SAD

If this is your first year without your mum, allow yourself a sad day. Reflect on photos, call your siblings or relatives, and be OK with not being OK. Above all, however much you dread it, and however raw it may be, remember that it’s only 24 hours and things will get easier.