‘I had four sons but craved a daughter’
Iunderstand Tanya I and Danielle’s need to have a little girl. It’s easy to judge but, unless you’re in that position, it’s very hard to understand. I love my boys and wouldn’t change them, but I’d always been desperate for a daughter. In a house full of boys, I craved an ally.
“After I had my fourth son Adam in 2000, I saw a little girl in town and I thought, ‘I’ll never have that.’ I wasn’t upset by what I had, but by what I didn’t have. Right or wrong, it’s not an emotion you can control.
“A few months later, I saw a TV programme about gender selection and I thought it was fate. Luckily, when I suggested it, Mike was fully supportive.
“While treatment, which costs around £10,000, is illegal in the UK, there was a clinic in London that would allow you to do the initial stages of IVF before flying to Valencia, in Spain, for the gender selection to be carried out.
TREATMENT OVERSEAS
“So, in December 2002, after having initial treatment that stimulated the follicles in my ovaries in London, we flew to Spain for the eggs to be harvested and fertilised.
“After five days, the embryo cells are tested to see if they are healthy, and it’s then that doctors are able to determine the sex. There was no other choice like hair or eye colour, which I wouldn’t want anyway; all that’s tested is the health and the sex.
“To my devastation, I was told that none of the embryos were healthy enough to be considered viable, even though there was a mix of male and female. We flew back to the UK and I was in pieces. But a couple of months later, we were back in Spain with another seven embryos.
“This time, six were viable – three girls and three boys. Two of the female embryos were the strongest and so doctors implanted them both to boost our chances and, weeks later, I was thrilled when I found out I was pregnant with twins. I loved shopping for pink, frilly dresses and couldn’t wait for them to arrive.
“I gave birth naturally five weeks early to Danielle and Georgia and our family was complete.
PLAYING GOD
“My girls, who are now 14, are beautiful. I love taking them shopping and we have long girly chats at the dinner table.
“Of course, there has been a backlash and people have accused us of playing God. But we play God in so many other areas of medicine such as IVF – why is this any different? Gender selection is already used on the NHS in the UK for medical reasons if couples don’t want to pass on a genetic disorder, but I would never expect the NHS to pay.
“I’ve always been open with my children – gender selection shouldn’t be a taboo subject. Being so fulfilled has made me a better mother to all of my children and I truly believe having sisters has made my boys – Adam and his older brothers PJ, 26, David, 24, and Daniel, 20 – better men, too.
“People may not agree with it, but it was the right decision for my family.”