How can you cope with being stalked by someone you loved?

Amanda Playle, A 44, lives in East Sussex with her three daughters, Chloe, 15, Ella, 11 and Maisie, eight, and was stalked relentlessly for two years by her now ex-partner, Paul, 44.

The nursing assistant says, “When I read about Nicola’s stalking case, I felt for her because I was also stalked by my ex and it has ruined my life.

COMPLETE CONTROL

“I started dating Paul when I was just 16 and, ten years later, we got married. I could never have imagined being with anyone else.

“We had three beautiful girls together and everything seemed perfect, until 2013 when Paul confessed to me that he’d been made bankrupt. I couldn’t believe it.

“He had complete control of all our finances, so I’d assumed we could afford the fancy holidays to Disneyland we went on and the latest ipads and mobile phones. But the cracks began to show and we’d have blazing rows over money. It felt like our marriage was over and we were on the verge of splitting.

“I felt really low so, when an old boyfriend, Anthony Reynolds, added me on Facebook in 2015, I was glad for the distraction. We soon began chatting every day and I told him about my marriage troubles. He knew I wasn’t happy and asked me out for a drink. I was tempted, but as I was married, I knew I couldn’t and told him that we shouldn’t speak any more.

VICIOUS MESSAGES

“Three weeks later I received another message from Anthony’s account asking whether my husband knew I was talking to him. His tone was horrible and, over the next few days, I received more messages, calling me

a cheating whore, a bad mother and a slag. I was horrified and told Paul. He was sympathetic and told me that everything would be all right and we’d get through it together.

“The messages continued. I tried to block Anthony on social media, but every few days he’d magically become unblocked – I had no idea how. There was no escape. Even when I tried to deactivate my Facebook account it would suddenly become reactivated, so I had no choice but to permanently delete my account.

“Initially it seemed to help, but just a month later I got an email from Anthony. And soon, my parents, friends and family all started getting messages, too.

“The messages became increasingly aggressive, even threatening rape. I felt helpless, and it was all out of my control. Paul was my rock, as I was so terrified. Eventually, I went to the police, but they said there wasn’t enough evidence to do anything because it was all online.

ABUSIVE

“I began to make a log of all the incidents, but my terror carried on until February 2017 when I woke up to an email from Anthony saying, ‘You are listening to our song in your car’. I ran downstairs to discover that my car had been broken into and CDS were scattered all over the passenger seat.

“It was the last straw. I went back to the police and showed them all the abusive messages I’d received. The next month I was called back up to the station, where I was given the shocking news that all the emails could be traced back to Paul. I was stunned and initially didn’t believe them. It seemed so far-fetched that my own husband could do that me, especially when he had been so supportive towards my situation.

“But the police had enough evidence and arrested Paul later the same day. However, while he was on bail, I received 300 messages from him in one day. I confronted him the next day when he was released, but he just cried, said he loved me and denied everything. I was so confused. I forwarded them all on to the police and Paul was immediately rearrested.

“He was later charged with stalking and controlling coercive behaviour. He was sentenced to three years in prison and given a restraining order – yet he still denies everything that happened. I still have no idea why my own husband would put me through such hell. I think it’s because he thought I was going to leave him and he wanted to scare me and make me lean on him for support.

“I’ll explain to my daughters what happened when they are old enough to understand and will let them decide if they want to have a relationship with Paul. But his actions have ruined my life. We are now in the process of getting divorced. He could be released any time from November and I’m terrified. I began selfharming as a result, I struggle to trust and I definitely don’t want another relationship anytime soon. Stalking should be taken more seriously – no woman should have to go through such a horrendous experience like I did.”

❛IT SEEMED SO FAR-FETCHED, BUT ALL THE EVIDENCE LED TO MY OWN HUSBAND❜