HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY MOVE BACK HOME
One in eight Brits aged 25 to 40 is living back with their folks, thanks to debt, the cost of buying a property and relationship breakdowns. Emma says patience and communication are key
f you, like one I in eight 25–40 year olds, need to move back in with your parents to clear debt, recover after a break-up or save for a deposit, it can feel like a backward step – but always keep in mind why you’re doing it. Feeling like a failure and talking about the move in a pessimistic way will make it a negative experience, so approach it positively – as an adult who has made a decision to help your future.
AGREE GROUND RULES
Come to an agreement with your parents about what the move means, emotionally and practically. Avoid falling into old patterns by deciding how you will divvy up cleaning, shopping and cooking; and decide on your financial contribution, whether that’s rent, bills, doing the food shop or a combination. Figure out how much you need to save or pay off, so you can plan your outgoings while contributing to the running of their home. This will prevent resentment and will mean that you are essentially a tenant, which is important psychologically because you are asserting yourself as an independent adult.
PREP YOUR PARTNER
If you are moving back home with your partner, discuss your parents’ expectations with them, from cleanliness to coming home late. Also think about allocating times during the week where you both go out so your parents have their home to themselves and vice versa. Keep communicating with both your partner and your parents because you may need to tweak the way you live as frustrations arise. For example, parents can ask endless questions about where you’re going and what you’re doing, so establish that you need your independence. Be patient, it’s a big adjustment. If you’re moving in post break-up, when you start dating, be respectful and keep dates outside the home!
FOCUS ON THE FUTURE
Moving back home may not be ideal, and your mates may make you the butt of a few jokes, but if you end up debt-free, happy or with keys to your own home, you’ll have the last laugh.