WHY YOU SHOULD TRY HAVING ‘MINDFUL’ SEX

As 42 per cent of women across all age groups say they are dissatisfied with their sex lives, experts are suggesting we get more tuned in between the sheets, as Emma explains...

Have you ever H found yourself thinking about what to get your mum for her birthday, or whether the kids have done their homework, during sex? Your mind wandering during intimate moments may not seem important, but as nearly half of us feel underwhelmed by our sex lives, if it’s become the norm, you need to break the habit. Why? Because when you’re having the best sex, you aren’t thinking about anything else, you’re just “in the moment”.

STAY ‘PRESENT’

Recent research found that 49 per cent of 25 to 34-yearold women complain about a lack of sexual enjoyment, and 42 per cent of women across all ages are dissatisfied. That will be for many reasons, but being more mindful between the sheets is one very easy way to improve things. Mindfulness has been associated with stress and anxiety relief, but it is also a powerful way to increase the pleasure associated with sex. Making love involves all five of your senses; it’s full of sensations, visual treats, tastes and smells, meaning there are lots of hooks that can keep you in the moment.

USE ALL FIVE SENSES

If your mind wanders, bring your focus back to how your body feels, from the tenderness of your partner’s touch, to the way your kisses feel on their lips. Should those distracting thoughts creep in again, allow them to wash over you, and come back to the here and now. When your partner touches or kisses you somewhere that really feels good, ask them to stay there, because this ensures you’re having the kind of sex you really want.

SET THE SCENE

Your environment also impacts your sex life, and can distract you. Make sure your bedroom is tidy, your sheets fresh and maybe burn a scented candle to tantalise your senses – cinnamon and jasmine are both said to be good. Being “present” will increase sexual satisfaction because it helps you to truly connect. Next time you’re both in the mood, tune in to the sound of their voice, the feel of their hands, the look of their eyes – and lose yourself in the pleasure!