Emotional Kerry admits: “I’m struggling again”
Kerry Katona has opened up to her followers about her new mental health battle – and insiders say she’s determined not to let it break her
She’s been brutally honest about her ongoing battle with bipolar disorder, after being diagnosed at 24 – telling Closer in February that she has days where she “didn’t want to get out of bed.”
And last week, Kerry Katona bravely confessed to fans in an Instagram live video that she’d been “struggling hugely” since her 38th birthday last month, admitting, “Since my birthday I’ve really struggled mentally… hugely. Really, really struggled mentally. Obviously I’m at home on my own all day when the kids are at school and that’s a massive, massive trigger for me… is being on my own. When I’m feeling down, I cut myself off from the world.
“There’s times I sit there and think, ‘Oh my God, I can’t cope with this any more. There’s no way out of how I’m feeling. There’s no way out of this hole that I’m in. I want to make it really, really clear that I struggle. I do struggle. And it isn’t all rainbows and unicorns. For me, it’s been one of my longest downs.”
DARK THOUGHTS
The former Atomic Kitten singer has daughters Molly, 17, and Lilly-sue, 15, with first husband Brian Mcfadden, and Heidi, 11, and Max, ten, with second husband Mark Croft. Last August, she split from third husband George Kay, with whom she shares daughter Dylanjorge, four, and has since been focusing on fitness and being a motivational speaker.
Speaking last week, Kerry added, “I’ve sat several times over the past few weeks and thought, ‘I can’t do this any more’. Not that I would ever act upon it, but those thoughts do cross your mind. But we are all too worthy to take our own lives. There is a way out of everything. I’m going through a divorce, it’s custody… there’s so much going on that I have to try and deal with it myself. I was sat with my doctor a minute ago and I felt really embarrassed that I can’t deal with these problems that are going on.”
Following Kerry’s frank online confession, fans rushed to praise the reality star, with one writing, “People should be more honest about their mental health, it fights the stigma,” while another added, “Keep strong, Kerry”.
The star, who has famously battled drug addiction, has spoken candidly in the past about how her bipolar – which can cause mood swings and erratic behaviour – can affect her relationship with her children. She revealed, “‘I’ll make a plan when I’m hyper, the kids will be all dressed to go out – and within an hour I’ve changed it. It’s not fair to say the kids are used to it, but they know that’s their mum.’
BEING HONEST
In her recent video, Kerry – who has found happiness again with personal trainer boyfriend Ryan Mahoney – admitted her mental health struggles had caused her to distance herself from her loved ones, saying, “I cut myself off from the world. Even the other half tries to ring me, and it’s like I push people away because I get so embarrassed to talk about it.”
The star transformed her body following her marriage breakdown last year – slimming from a size 14 to a size 8. She also insisted earlier this year that she’d come off her bipolar medication as “the best pill to take is exercise and eating healthy”. But opening up last week, Kerry revealed she was re-considering medication after a visit to her GP, admitting,
❛SHE RECOGNISES WHEN SHE’S FEELING LOW AND NEEDS SOME HELP❜
“[My doctor] mentioned about going back on anti-depressants short-term, which I’m not against at all. I feel so much better for talking about what’s been going on in my head. Even I don’t know what’s going on in my head sometimes. I want to be able to help other people.”
The source adds, “Kerry’s main focus is to be happy and healthy for her children’s sake. It can be hard for her to admit she’s struggling, but she knows being honest always makes things easier. She was overwhelmed by the positive reaction she got from her fans and Ryan has been an incredible support, too.”