“I feel so guilty I made my daughter obese”

As Britain’s childhood obesity crisis claims its first victim, Closer speaks to a mum who admits to teaching her overweight girl unhealthy eating habits

❛IT WAS ONLY WHEN SHE WAS BEING PICKED ON AT SCHOOL THAT I REALISED WHAT I’D DONE❜

The shocking T scale of the UK’S childhood obesity epidemic came under the spotlight last month when a 13-year-old boy became the youngest person to die as a direct result of being overweight.

The teenager weighed 16st, with a BMI of 42, when he developed a blood clot that travelled from his leg to his heart. A post-mortem revealed that there could be no other reason for the clot developing, aside from the teen’s weight.

ROLE MODELS

The boy’s tragic death comes as recent statistics show that 20 per cent of 10- to 11-year-olds leave primary school obese.

To tackle the crisis, the government has introduced a sugar tax on soft drinks and they’ve also backed the “Daily Mile” initiative in schools, which encourages pupils to walk or jog for 15 minutes.

But experts say parents must take on the responsibility of educating their children about healthy eating. Dr Sarah Jarvis, GP and clinical director at Patient.info, says, “Parents must be role models. It’s crucial that we feed our children a balanced diet, including five portions of fruit and veg a day. Portion control is important too – if a child is used to seeing plates piled high at their dinner table at home, they’ll go back for seconds and thirds when they’re at the school canteen.

“If bad habits are established at home, it’s very hard to break them. Children can’t go on diets in the same way that adults can – not only can it promote negative body image, but they’re still growing and need more of things like calcium than adults do, so simply restricting calories doesn’t always work.”

Mum-of-two Tammy Smith, 34, is wracked with guilt for allowing her daughter, Abbie, to become obese. At just nine years old, Abbie tipped the scales at 10st – double the average weight of a girl her age.

Tammy says, “I hold my hands up completely. I’ve been overweight for much of Abbie’s life, so I was setting a bad example. But even though I went on to shed over 12st, I still didn’t take responsibility for my daughter’s weight.

BINGE EATING

“It was only when she was being picked on at school that I realised what I’d done. Now I’m speaking out because I don’t want other parents to make the same mistake.”

Tammy began to gain weight herself when she left home, aged 16. She says, “I’m slim now, but it hasn’t always been that way. Living by myself from a young age meant I never learned how to cook – I lived off fish and chips and frozen pizza.

“As the years passed, I just got bigger. I met my husband, Tom and when I was pregnant with my eldest daughter, Amy, and then Abbie, I used it as an excuse to eat even more.

“But after getting trapped in a go-kart on a family day out, in March 2015, at 24st, I joined Slimming World. I taught myself to cook, and even took up running. Within two years, I had dropped a staggering 12st.

“While I overhauled my own eating habits, though, I didn’t think about Abbie. I knew she was bigger than her friends – at seven, she wore age ten clothes – but I thought it was puppy fat. I continued buying the sweets she liked and would cook pizza and chips for dinner.”

But when Abbie was eight years old, she confessed that she was being bullied. Tammy explains, “Sobbing in my arms, she told me that girls at school were calling her fat. The guilt was overwhelming. My daughter was being bullied and it was all my fault.

“I knew then that we needed to address her weight, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t want to encourage an eating disorder, and I wanted her to know that there is more to life than the way you look.”

TURNING POINT

But before Tammy was able to talk to her daughter about her weight, in November 2017 Abbie took the matter into her own hands. “She told me that she’d been researching how to lose weight online and asked if we could see a doctor,” says Tammy. “When we went to the GP, I was nervous that I’d get a telling off. But the doctor gently told us about a local nutrition group called ABL (Activity, Balance Lifestyle).”

Tammy went to the group with Abbie, where she was taught about portion control and took part in group exercise.

“The irony wasn’t lost on me that, as a Slimming World target member, I should have been able to pass on this information to Abbie myself,” says Tammy. “Abbie started riding her bike alongside

me on my daily runs, and we swapped her chocolate and crisps for healthier alternatives like fruit and yoghurt. As the weeks passed, Abbie’s energy levels shot up and she was so much happier. Now, she weighs just over 8st.

SLOW AND STEADY

“A strict calorie-controlled diet at her young age could affect her relationship with food, and I don’t want that. So, for now, Abbie is still overweight, but she’s losing it at a slow and healthy pace, and we’ve cut back on her treats.”

Abbie is no longer obese, but Tammy says she will never stop blaming herself for her daughter’s weight problems.

She says, “If it wasn’t for me, Abbie wouldn’t have had an issue with her weight in the first place. But the important thing now is that she’s healthy – and happier than ever.”