Katie Waissel: “I jump into re­la­tion­ships too quickly – it leaves me vul­ner­a­ble”

Fol­low­ing two divorces and her re­cent split from the fa­ther of her three-month-old son, Hud­son, for­mer X Fac­tor and CBB star Katie Waissel, 32, opens up to Closer’s Emma Kenny about de­pres­sion, moth­er­hood and love

Closer (UK) - - Inside This Issue -

Katie, so much has hap­pened to you in the past few years. Let’s start with the break­down of your mar­riages… [Af­ter mov­ing to Amer­ica in 2011, Katie di­vorced her first hus­band, model Brad Alphonso, in 2012 fol­low­ing do­mes­tic vi­o­lence claims. She then di­vorced ra­dio host Brian Moote in 2016 af­ter a year of mar­riage]. My re­la­tion­ship with Brad got very messy, very quickly and I think if I hadn’t left, my dad would have come and dragged me home. It took me a long time to heal, but I thought I’d found The One when I met Brian. But with him, the re­la­tion­ship was break­ing down be­fore I went on Big Brother [in 2016] and when I got back home to At­lanta, I felt I had no choice but to leave – we weren’t in a healthy cy­cle. I drove to New York, hop­ing he’d come af­ter me like in a fairy tale – but he didn’t and then I found out he was with our neigh­bour. How did you cope? I moved in with my best friend. It was re­ally hard – I thought I was go­ing to be with Brian for­ever. I started drink­ing and I was de­pressed. Then one day I looked in the mir­ror and didn’t look like my­self, and from that mo­ment I de­cided to change my life. I stopped drink­ing, ate healthily, prac­tised mind­ful­ness and qual­i­fied as a per­sonal trainer. How did that lead you to meet­ing Hud­son’s dad [per­sonal trainer Andy Speer]? I met him through work – we started dat­ing and it was bril­liant. I can jump in quickly with re­la­tion­ships, so I re­mem­ber telling my­self, ‘Be chilled, we’ve al­ready had the mar­riages’. It takes a long time to trust peo­ple these days. That’s com­pletely un­der­stand­able. Tell me about find­ing out you were preg­nant? We’d been dat­ing for about a year; I told Andy and he cried and said, “You’re the one I’m spend­ing the rest of my life with, let’s do this”. I was so ex­cited. When did things start to go wrong? We moved in to­gether and it was like real life hit for the first time – be­fore then, our re­la­tion­ship had been care­free. As time went on, re­al­ity kicked in and I don’t think Andy was ready. We were in a highly-strung en­vi­ron­ment and I had a lot of preg­nancy hor­mones, so we did row. Then, one day, I was on our ipad and saw he’d been look­ing at stu­dio apart­ments. I was six months’ preg­nant and sud­denly re­alised I was dis­pos­able to him. I was dev­as­tated. How was the rest of the preg­nancy? He left me three times dur­ing the last three months, and at seven months’ preg­nant I was rushed to hospi­tal as I was hav­ing con­trac­tions. He swore he’d stay then, but the trust went and ev­ery time he was moody, I’d worry. It was dev­as­tat­ing and I was wor­ried for my health with that level of stress. I con­sid­ered com­ing back to Eng­land, but I didn’t want the em­bar­rass­ment of an­other failed re­la­tion­ship. I moved into a flat on my own and built the nurs­ery my­self. Andy was there for the birth and moved back in for two weeks. Then my mum came to stay and Andy said he was go­ing again. How are things be­tween you now? He pays child sup­port and vis­its. When I see him, we look at each other and smile. Some­times I won­der if it’s not to­tally over be­tween us, but sadly the trust has gone. You’re ob­vi­ously a very spon­ta­neous per­son, which can leave you open to hurt. How do you feel when you look back at your re­la­tion­ships? I’ll al­ways be im­pul­sive and I take risks, but I know that leaves me vul­ner­a­ble. Look­ing back at my life, I think, “Wow, I can’t be­lieve that hap­pened”. But I’ve suf­fered with de­pres­sion be­fore and I know if I dwelt on things I would be in a very dark place now. Moth­er­hood is a whole new world, it’s in­de­scrib­able and Hud­son has changed my life. Of course I’d rather be liv­ing as a fam­ily, but if Hud­son’s dad doesn’t want to, I can’t do any­thing about it. I’m now a sin­gle mum do­ing the best I can. What’s next for you? Would you like to meet some­one new? I’m think­ing about mov­ing back to Eng­land be­cause I love be­ing around my fam­ily. In terms of a re­la­tion­ship, I say no, but we all know me! I’m like El­iz­a­beth Tay­lor! Def­i­nitely not any time soon, it would have to be some­one very spe­cial to make me con­sider it.

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