NO: ‘It took me a decade to recover, I was devastated’

Laura Jane Williams, 32, from Derbyshire, wrote her book Becoming about her heartbreak after an ex started dating one of her close friends.

She says, “It took me the best part of a decade to get over my ex-boyfriend getting together with a close friend of mine. He was my first love, we grew up together and dated seriously until I was 23. It was devastating enough when he split up with me – we were both in floods of tears – but it was made much worse when I discovered he was dating one of my friends. I found out through a mutual friend, who had seen them walking arm-in- arm. I just felt so humiliated. The girl in question had been a good friend of mine – we’d gone to dance classes together and as she didn’t have a car, I’d give her lifts. We were close and it felt like a huge betrayal when she hooked up with my ex, especially as she’d emailed me to tell me how sorry she was when she heard we’d split. I even tried to call her, but she wouldn’t answer her phone.

“I couldn’t help but feel there’d been an overlap between us – even if not physically, then emotionally. I will never know though if that’s true. I do know they are still together and married and I can honestly say I wish them well – though it took a while. I’m happily single by choice, though I have had relationships since.

“I don’t think you should ever date a friend’s ex – either he broke up with her, and she’s upset, so why add to her devastation? Or she split up with him, in which case why take her sloppy seconds? There are plenty of other men out there – we must always remember to put sisters before misters!”