DEAL WITH THE DRAMA QUEEN IN YOUR LIFE

Nearly half of us think someone we know is prone to excessive emotional outbursts, with many using social media for attention. Emma says there are ways to stop them from affecting you

Recently on my social media feed, an acquaintance dramatically detailed her intention to cull the cyber “friends” that she felt hadn’t paid her enough attention, having decided instead to concentrate on the 472 who apparently did.

SPOT THE SIGNS

You probably know someone similar, who regularly writes OTT or cryptic posts, and doesn’t acknowledge anyone else’s needs. Whatever issues you’re facing, this friend will be dealing with worse. If you have a headache, they have a migraine. If your work is stressful, they are so overworked they want to quit. A recent survey found that half of us consider someone in our social circle to be “addicted to drama”, and more than a third can identify a “drama magnet” via social media.

BE FIRM, BUT KIND

Drama queens (and kings) can be infuriating, but usually, they are surprisingly insecure. If you help them to grow in confidence, they will be less likely to drain the life from you. Give them responsibilities within your friendship. This can be as simple as organising a night out, but offers the opportunity to reward them with positive reinforcement. This “good” attention will fulfil their need for validation and increase their fragile confidence. When they have a meltdown, be kind, but firm. If they complain you ignored their messages, explain that you didn’t reply immediately because you had important priorities to take care of. This establishes boundaries, and gets your friend used to looking for support elsewhere, too. If you are brave enough, point out how their drama puts pressure on your friendship. Explain that you too have worries, and you also need space to discuss them. Suggest that your friendship needs to be more balanced.

WALK AWAY FROM IT

If all of this fails, you can step away from the friendship. It will cause short-term drama, but you will no longer have to absorb their meltdowns constantly, which is liberating. Accept that some friendships are fleeting, and it isn’t a failure if you tried.