HELP KIDS HANDLE COMPETITION AT SCHOOL

The Christmas play always breeds rivalry – Emma advises on how to turn disappointment into triumph

One of the best O memories I have of my youngest son’s time at primary school was him being cast as the lead in the musical Oliver. Yet research suggests that 66% of parents feel the school play is the single most competitive time of year, and admit feeling bitterly upset when their little darlings miss out on the lead role.

No parent likes to see their child disappointed, and while it’s not a pleasant emotion, it doesn’t mean it should be avoided. On the contrary, disappointment is a healthy and positive emotion that plays an essential role in children’s intellectual and social development.

Fear of not getting the part they want shouldn’t stop kids trying. If they end up feeling disappointed, teach them to use that as motivation. Explain that people who succeed aren’t all born winners, they reach heady heights because they refuse to give up. Pop star Shakira was rejected from her school choir – look at her now!

Remind them that you are proud of them and that you believe in them. And if they do happen to be cast as a tree (as my eldest son was one year), encourage them to be the best tree that ever stood on stage.

My memory of Evan playing Oliver is brilliant – not because he was the lead, but because he played it so badly. When he was cast, his teacher sent a clear message to every peer and parent – that each and every one of us take life a little less seriously. It’s a lesson well worth learning.