CELEB CONFESSIONS NICOLA: COLA: ‘I fear for my life’

Former glamour model Nicola Mclean reveals how her anxiety has spiralled out of control after being subjected to horrific online abuse

Nicola Mclean, 37, famously appeared alongside The Saturdays singer Frankie Bridge in TV documentary Celeb Trolls: We’re Coming To Get You in 2017, where celebrities came face-to-face with their cyber-bullies after being subjected to abuse on social media.

And shockingly, two years on, the former glamour model admits she still receives up to 70 abusive messages a day and reveals her anxiety is at an all-time high.

HURTFUL COMMENTS

Nicola – who’s mum to sons Rocky, 12, and eight-year- old Striker – reveals that one troll in particular has continued to make her life a misery and at times has left her fearing for her safety.

She says, “I’ve never understood why I’ve been targeted, but constantly reading hurtful comments about myself on Instagram has made my anxiety deteriorate massively. I’ve had trolls attack me over the years but one lady in particular targets me all the time and I’m back on anti-anxiety medication because I find it all so stressful. I’ve suffered with heart palpitations when I read all the vicious things she writes.”

As she talks about the posts – which have mocked everything from her parenting skills to her physical appearance and her brief but public split with her husband, former footballer Tom Williams after he reportedly cheated on her in 2014 – a visibly shaken Nicola says, “It’s well known that I’ve had struggles with my health [Nicola’s been advised to have a hysterectomy due to cysts on her ovaries] and my marriage. I’ve got a terrible squint in my right eye – yet one woman has called me a ‘sick blind b***h’ and suggested that the problems with my eyesight are ‘karma’. I’ve read things that say I’m ‘full of cysts and germs.’ Other times, I’ve been labelled a ‘whore’ and accused of neglecting my boys. I’ve received threats that I’ll be reported to social services. I’ve even been called homophobic and racist, which there is absolutely no truth to.”

Nicola has reported the threats to the police, and one troll was even arrested but not charged. However, Nicola has blocked her on social media and can now only view the posts if she searches for them herself.

She explains, “Sometimes I search to see what she’s saying in case I need to defend myself. It’s hard not to get angry. I’m constantly worrying about what could happen to me as some of the threats are physical and I fear for my life. It’s easy to find anyone’s address these days. I’ve reported her page but, when I do, I’m told she isn’t breaking their guidelines. It feels so unjust.”

Horrifyingly for Nicola, the threats from trolls have even extended to her sons, leading her to become vigilant over their whereabouts.

She says, “The comments that frighten me are the ones that target my boys. They were called ‘gay’ after I posted a picture of them in a pink football kit. Another post even threatened to have them beaten up. It’s now made me way too overprotective. Rocky wants to go out with his friends after school, but I don’t want him to.”

OLD WOUNDS

And Nicola says she hides the true extent of the abuse through fear of scaring her boys.

She adds, “Rocky was loving school but, after the threats, police advised me to tell his teachers, and it shook him up. He’s become fearful of this lady. I don’t speak about it in front of him now so he doesn’t worry.”

In the past, the former CBB star has made no secret of her eating disorders, which saw her weight drop to just 6st, six months after Striker’s birth. But after reading comments that poke fun at her figure, Nicola worries about spiralling into her old problems.

She explains, “She’ll post pictures of me back when I was underweight and seeing

‘It’s hard not to get angry – it feels so unjust’

those images is a reminder of what I still go through. I look at them and they make me feel fat. I still find it a struggle to eat healthily and I’ll never be over my disorder. I’ve found myself saying, ‘Maybe I could be a bit skinnier’ and Tom shouts, ‘No Nicola, you’re already little!’”

PAINFUL MEMORIES

What’s more, Nicola’s experience has unearthed painful memories of being bullied during school. She explains, “I was bullied in primary school because of my squint and I wore an eye patch behind my glasses. In school, as soon as you look different, you’re screwed. I was called ‘ugly’ and that’s where my low self-esteem comes from. It feels like being back in the playground again.” For now, Nicola is hoping the backing behind Harvey’s Law [a petition started by Katie Price – aka Jordan – to put an end to online abuse after her son, Harvey, was subjected to cruel trolling] will gain momentum and seeks solace in friends and family. She says, “[Former Crimewatch host] Rav Wilding went through something similar and he and his wife are always there for me. And Tom is a huge support, too. We’ve had our troubles, but we’re stronger than ever now.”