“I needed to show him he couldn’t control me”
Devastatingly, two women are killed every week in the UK by a partner or ex-partner. Now, Channel 5 is highlighting this crisis with The Abused, a groundbreaking documentary telling the story of two women, Kelly and Hazel, who were attacked in the same week in Norfolk. It follows their lives, from the moment they made their terrified 999 calls right through to the aftermath of the attacks. Here, Kelly explains why she agreed to take part…
Mum-of-one M Kelly Brown* suffers terrifying flashbacks and needs medication to help her sleep. She’s also under the care of a psychiatrist, and all because of the harrowing abuse she suffered at the hands of her violent husband.
“I was petrified Kieran would kill me,” Kelly tells Closer. “He beat my face to a pulp and threatened me with knives. At night I’d hide shaking in my little boy’s bedroom, because it was the only place he wouldn’t hurt me.
“I still have panic attacks and I’ll never be able to erase the memories, but I’m hoping that by telling my story I can help others. People don’t talk about domestic abuse, it’s still a taboo subject.”
VOLATILE
Kelly admits there were early warning signs when she started dating Kieran Watkins, 30, in 2013.
“He was charismatic and cheeky, he really made me laugh,” she says. “But there was drama from the outset, and he soon started controlling what I wore and who I spoke to. I was so smitten, though, that I was blind to it.”
But in April 2017, not long after the birth of their son, who’s now two, Watkins became volatile.
She recalls, “Kieran started ringing me every five minutes, asking where I was or what I was wearing. If I didn’t answer immediately, he’d think I was cheating on him. I was walking on eggshells. He’d call me a bad mum and a slag.”
CONSTANT FEAR
But in November 2017, Watkins exploded into physical violence.
“The first time was a horrendous shock, I just shook and didn’t know what to do,” says Kelly. “He attacked me three times in the next two weeks, then it escalated. All it took was for me to say the wrong thing, or for him to come home in a bad mood. I was living in constant fear.”
Over the next five months, Watkins attacked Kelly several times.
“He beat my face to a pulp and wrapped his arms around me so I couldn’t breathe,” she says. “When someone strangles you, it’s horrible. I’d come round and he was in my face with the scariest eyes. He punched me in the face, too, when I had my little boy in my arms.
“The one place I felt safe was my son’s room, because he wouldn’t attack me while he was asleep. I’d end up sitting there in the dark, shaking quietly. But then Kieran would stand outside and scream until I came out.”
Despite suffering horrific injuries, including bruising around her nose and a black eye, Kelly was too petrified to tell the police.
“He threatened to kill my mum, sister, and me too,” she says. “I was too scared of the beatings. I couldn’t see any way out, and even when my sister made a statement to the police, I begged her to drop it.”
But in April 2018, sheer terror finally pushed Kelly to call 999.
CLOSURE
“It was a Sunday,” she recalls, her voice shaking. “We went to B&Q and Kieran bought a sledgehammer and a pair of bolt cutters. Then, on the way home, he kept threatening to take my jaw off. I was so scared that I rang the police.
“I knew I needed to protect my son, too. His speech and eating were delayed, and if people came near me he’d cry because he thought I’d get hurt.”
But Kelly’s nightmare wasn’t over. Although Watkins was arrested and barred from contacting her, he denied all charges. Refusing to go into a refuge because she didn’t want to feel like she was running away, Kelly was armed with a panic alarm and a GPS tracker by police, who also fitted her door with sensors.
Kelly readily admits she lived in fear. Watkins followed her menacingly on his moped and, in one six-hour period, called her a staggering 230 times.
“He was stalking me,” she says. “It’s the scariest thing, looking over your shoulder all the time. I was frightened that if he wasn’t convicted he could kill me, but I wasn’t tempted to back down. I needed to show him he couldn’t control me.”
Watkins was eventually found and arrested, and on 1 November 2018 at Norwich Crown Court, he pleaded guilty to coercion and controlling behaviour. On 13 December 2018, he was sentenced to 18 months
❛ HE THREATENED TO KILL MY MUM, SISTER AND ME TOO – I COULDN’T SEE A WAY OUT ❜
in prison, with an ongoing restraining order.
“I needed closure, so I went to watch him in court,” says Kelly. “He just smirked but, as I heard his sentence read out, it felt like a weight was lifted.”
Two months on, Kelly is slowly piecing her life back together.
“I’m suffering from PTSD and I have flashbacks,” she says. “I’m on medication and see a psychiatrist, but I’m just trying to enjoy time with my little boy. He’s kept me strong.
“I’d urge any woman suffering domestic violence to leave. Speak to a friend or relative. It’s hard to believe you can get out, but if I can, so can you.”
For help, contact www.refuge.org.uk