LOVE CAN RELATIONSHIPS WORK WITHOUT SEX?

Shockingly, a new study reveals a quarter of couples in their 30s don’t have sex. Emma says intimacy makes love last

In my first marriage, I didn’t have sex for two years. I felt that we had become mates and I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’m not surprised that 25 per cent of couples in their 30s are in sexless relationships, but I am worried. The study revealed that while one of the partners was OK without intimacy, 77 per cent knew that their partner wanted more sex. This mismatch can only be tolerated for a while. You get married, have a family, responsibilities pile up, and finding opportunities to have sex becomes harder. You or your partner may feel comfortable taking intimacy off the menu, but if one of you secretly wants a healthy sex life, you will hit problems. I’m not condoning his behaviour, but my ex-husband had an affair, largely because he felt sexually starved and I chose to ignore his needs. If you love your partner and your sex life has gone off the boil, challenge yourselves to change. It takes work, but with some honest communication and a willingness to try new things, you can make sex a regular part of your relationship again. Become more affectionate generally, take turns to initiate it so one person isn’t always asking, have sex in spaces other than the bedroom and talk about fantasies. Put yourself in the mood by doing things that make you feel confident and attractive, flirt and prioritise your relationship. Sex makes us feel connected and releases chemicals that make us feel loved, it also reduces stress and ups happiness, so don’t miss out.