‘The pain will never go – but finding love has helped me survive’

Five years after 14-year-old Breck Bednar’s murder at the hands of teen Lewis Daynes, his mother, Lorin Lafave, 51, (left) reflects on how she’s coped with her devastating loss

When Lorin Lafave thinks W back to the day she heard her son Breck had been murdered by a teenager who had groomed him online, all she remembers is screaming into the phone.

In the five years since his death, she’s tirelessly travelled the length and breadth of the country to raise awareness of online grooming in her drive to make sure another mother doesn’t suffer like she has. She’s desperate to highlight the fact that online grooming is more than just men preying on young girls, and that it could happen to anyone. After all, Daynes was a baby-faced teenager.

Despite still being griefstricken, Lorin is slowly finding light at the end of a very bleak tunnel. Six months ago, she met a new man, David, 59 – surprisingly, they met online. He has also lost a child, and Lorin says they have a unique connection.

IN DANGER

Lorin – who divorced Breck’s dad in 2006 – says, “I will never forget Breck, and the pain will never go away. But I need joy in our lives again – in the last six months, I’ve started celebrating occasions like birthdays and Christmas again. Breck would want that, I can hear him saying to me, ‘Don’t work so hard, Mum, don’t be so sad’. And he’s right.

“I was nervous about finding love again, particularly online after what happened to Breck. But I couldn’t find anyone within the community and my work life is quite solitary as I spend a lot of time travelling alone. So I researched websites carefully and found one you have to pay for. I checked that all the information David told me about himself added up, and we met in a public place in London. It worked, as I’ve met the love of my life. ”

Lorin’s son was brutally murdered by teenager Lewis Daynes, then 18, in February 2014, after they met online in a gaming group. Daynes groomed Breck for 13 months and, tragically, Lorin instinctively knew he was a danger and did everything she could to stop his influence, but to no avail.

Lorin, who also has triplets, Carly, Chloe and Sebastian, now 17, explains, “Breck loved gaming, but it wasn’t problematic – he would always do his homework and chores and eat his dinner before going online. There was a group of his school friends who’d play together and I’d hear them laughing and talking. He always had his bedroom door open, so I felt I knew what was going on.

“I was never concerned about it until Lewis Daynes came along in January 2013. I heard his voice through Breck’s computer and I could tell that he wasn’t one of his usual friends. He was introduced by some of the other boys, but I felt a bit uneasy from the start. He was older than them, and had some very outlandish stories to tell – that he had a £2million business and worked for the CIA. Breck was flattered to have an older mentor and, gradually, his behaviour changed.”

She adds, “He wasn’t as open with me – we’d always had a very good relationship, but he became less keen to do his chores and his homework. He’d always wanted to be a pilot and attended Air Cadets, but he stopped wanting to go. It was small things, but I knew he was being influenced and I didn’t like it.”

CONCERNED

Lorin spoke to Breck’s teachers, but was told that he was doing well at school and they weren’t concerned, as his grades weren’t slipping.

Breck accused Lorin of being “old-fashioned” and “holding him back, but she was so concerned that, in December 2013, she spoke to Breck’s friends’ parents, and they all agreed that none of them would game with Daynes any more. She also spoke to the police about her concerns, but felt they weren’t taken seriously.

She says, “I thought the problem was fixed, as I didn’t hear Daynes’ voice again. But now I realise they were still in touch – I’d driven the problem underground. Breck idolised him and treated Daynes like a mentor.

He enjoyed the attention and was excited at the opportunities he thought were coming his way from Daynes’ computer business. I was so worried, but people assured me that Breck was just being a typical teen and that it would all be fine.”

LURED TO DEATH

It was in February 2014, while Breck was staying with his father, Barry, that he lied and said he was going to see an old friend. In reality, Daynes had sent a taxi for Breck to take him to his flat in Grays, Essex. Daynes had apparently told him he was the only one he could trust with his business and he was going to hand it over to him. Later that day, Breck asked to stay over with a friend and his father agreed.

But Breck was lured to his death, with Daynes tying his wrists and ankles with duct tape before slashing his throat.

The next day, Lorin got the call from Barry to tell her that Breck had been murdered.

She says, “All I can remember is screaming into the phone. No family should have to go through that – ever. The following months were dark as we tried to process what had happened. We buried Breck on what would have been his 15th birthday. Hundreds of people turned up to say their goodbyes. It was heartwarming to see how loved he was.”

Daynes originally claimed he’d injured Breck in a fight – but pleaded guilty to murder on the second day of his court case in January 2015. He was sentenced to 25 years.

During the court case, it had emerged that he’d been accused of and arrested for raping a boy of the same age back in 2011.

Lorin says, “If only the police had looked that up when I’d told them about Daynes back in 2013, they might have taken notice of me. That makes me very angry.”

Lorin admits every day was a struggle after her son’s death – but she had to carry on for the triplets.

She explains, “Just two weeks after his death, I set up the Breck Foundation to educate other children about the dangers of online grooming. I didn’t want it to happen to anyone else.

“It’s been hard work, but if I’ve saved just one life and stopped just one mother from feeling the same agony, then it’s worth it. The triplets have been amazing – they have each other. They appreciate that I worry about them and they are fine with me having tracking apps on their phones.

“Five years on, it’s still hard. I’ve lost a lot of my friends because it was just too hard to act happy and normal.

HUGE CONNECTION

“But now, I’ve met David – it’s funny as that is Breck’s middle name and my father’s name, it feels like it’s meant to be. He lost his eight-year-old son in a fire 19 years ago, and I think because he’s been through such a tragedy, it’s helped him to understand me. People who have lost a child have a huge connection – you can’t put into words how painful it is.

“But I finally feel happiness again – something I never thought possible. I still yearn for Breck, but I’m carrying on with my life in his memory.”

❛ WE BURIED BRECK ON WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN HIS 15TH BIRTHDAY ❜

For more information, go to www.breckfoundation.org