LOVE MINDFULNESS CAN BOOST YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Almost one in five couples in the UK argues regularly, but using easy mindfulness techniques can help, as Emma explains

Think about the last T time you listened to your partner, and I mean really listened – not while looking at your phone, or thinking about what’s for tea. Mindfulness teaches you to pay full attention, and when you both actively listen, you can sort niggles before they become full-blown problems. Scans show that mindfulness alters the way our brains work, in particular the area responsible for fighting, so conflict is less likely. Couples who practise together show more empathy and understand each other on a deeper level, which sustains life-long bonds. You can practise it anywhere, any time. Try apps like Headspace or Calm for ideas. I eat mindfully, so I turn off my phone, sit at my table and really savour every taste and texture. I walk my dogs daily, and concentrate on the world around me, listening to the sounds and noticing sensations. I enter conflict mindfully, not by reacting or waiting for a chance to express my opinion, but by listening to the other person’s perspective. Other people’s opinions are not facts, and everyone has a right to different beliefs, which I find helpful to remember in my own relationship. Mindfulness also helps you to understand that your emotions are there to prompt you to take the right action, so if my husband is causing me to feel frustrated, my emotions are telling me to be patient. When I feel angry, I am being directed to calm down. Mindful practice will bring out the best in your relationship, while reducing your stress and increasing communication. That’s definitely worth a try.