Young widow: “I found love again with my best friend’s husband”
When Katrina Hawes’ husband and best friend died from cancer within 18 months of each other, Katrina fell for her friend’s widower – but the couple have faced a cruel backlash
In less than two years, Katrina Hawes lost both her husband, Corey, and her best friend, Kelly, to cancer.
Devastated, she was barely able to leave her house until Kelly’s widower, Nathan, offered a shoulder to cry on.
United in their grief, the pair quickly became close and soon realised they’d developed romantic feelings for each other.
Now, five years on, they’re happily married.
The pair live together with Katrina’s children, Riley,
14, and Madison, 11, and Nathan’s children, Ella, 12, and Oliver, nine.
SERIOUSLY ILL
Katrina, 42, says, “I’d lost two of the most important people in my world and I was utterly heartbroken.
“Only Nathan really understood what I was going through and he made me feel like myself again. I never imagined we’d end up together but, somehow, it felt right.
“I like to think that Corey and Kelly would be looking down on us. They’d want us to be happy.”
Katrina met Kelly in 2001 at the law firm where they both worked, and they quickly became firm friends. Katrina says, “We just had so much fun together. We even had nicknames for each other
– she called me ‘chicky’ and Kelly was my ‘pretty lady’.
“We were each other’s bridesmaids, and because we had kids around the same time, we spent weekends together with our families.
“We loved having barbecues. Nathan and Corey would cook and Kelly and I would gossip while the kids played together.”
But in 2010, Kelly, then
29, began to suffer painful headaches. Katrina recalls, “She said they were so bad, she couldn’t get out of bed. I urged her to go to the doctor, and the next time I saw her, she told me she had some news. It was an advanced brain tumour. I just held her in my arms as we both sobbed.”
Doctors operated on Kelly, but her tumour was too advanced. Kelly says, “The last time I saw her, I held her and told her it wasn’t goodbye and that we’d see each other again one day.”
LIVING NIGHTMARE
Days later, Kelly, aged just 31, passed away – two years after her diagnosis. Then, in the midst of her grief, Katrina received more shocking news.
She says, “Corey was a regular blood donor, but a recent donation had shown problems with Corey’s platelets. Just five days after Kelly’s funeral, we were told that Corey had liver cancer. It felt like I was in a living nightmare. I’d just buried my best friend, and now my husband was seriously ill.”
Corey was fit and strong, but despite intensive chemotherapy treatment, the cancer spread from his liver to his pancreas. Katrina says, “Corey was incredible. He was the best dad and he fought to be around for our children.
“He was always so positive – even when he started palliative care – but soon his body started to shut down.
“In December 2013, I told
him that he’d fought hard, and that I loved him, but if he needed to leave, he could. When I woke up the next morning, he’d slipped away.”
Corey was just 35. After his death, Katrina says she hid herself away. She recalls, “I carried on for the children, but I didn’t want to go out – I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing happy families together.
“Nathan sent me supportive messages, but I didn’t want to open up to anyone.”
GUILT
But four months after Corey’s death, Nathan invited Katrina and her family on a camping trip. Katrina says, “The children deserved a treat, so I decided it was time to get back out into the real world. And surprisingly, it felt good to talk openly about Corey and Kelly.
“After that, we would all do things together regularly. It was a distraction for the kids and I knew they needed to have some fun. Life was still hard. Sometimes, I would forget Corey was gone and find myself picking up the phone to call him.”
Then, one evening in September 2014, Nathan and Katrina sat outside in her garden in Newcastle, Australia, reminiscing about Kelly and Corey, when Katrina started crying. She says, “Nathan gave me a hug then looked into my eyes and we kissed.
“It was so unexpected that
BEING TOGETHER DOESN’T MEAN WE’VE FORGOTTEN COREY AND KELLY
I pulled back and tried to brush past it, but days later I couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss. A part of me felt guilty – I still felt like I was Corey’s wife.”
Then, Nathan sent Katrina a text saying, “I think there’s something there and I’d like to explore it, but only if you want to.”
Katrina says, “I spent a lot of time thinking about it. I had to consider how the children would feel, and
I was worried what other people might think. But
I’d been through so much, I knew I deserved to be happy.
“I sat Riley and Maddison down and said that I would never forget their father and that I would love him forever, but that Nathan and I had decided we were more than friends. The children were still so young, but they were used to seeing us together and they seemed to understand, although we took things very slowly. While most people have been supportive, the couple have faced criticism.
DISRESPECTFUL
Katrina says, “Some people think we’re being disrespectful to Corey and Kelly’s memories, but they couldn’t be more wrong. We talk about them every day. Sadly we lost some friends because they couldn’t accept our relationship and even some family members cut contact.”
In September 2016, Nathan proposed, and a year later, they got married.
Katrina says, “Riley gave me away, while Ella and Maddison were my bridesmaids. Nathan had Riley and Oliver, now 10, as his best men.
“We mentioned Corey and Kelly in the speeches and there wasn’t a dry eye among our guests. Being together doesn’t mean we’ve forgotten Corey and Kelly – that could never happen. We’re happy and so are our children, and that’s all that matters.”
● For help and support after losing a loved one, go to Widowedandyoung.org.uk