Surrogate sister: “I gave birth to my brother’s baby”
Single mum Chapelle Cooper tells Closer how she helped her sibling start his longed-for family...
When Chapelle Cooper’s brother told her that he and his fiancé were desperate to start a family, she knew she wanted to help. So single mumof-one Chapelle offered to be an egg donor and surrogate for Scott, 30, and his partner Michael, 29.
Baby Harper – who is the biological child of Chapelle and her brother-in-law, Michael – was born in July this year.
Chapelle, from Cumbria, says, “My brother and I have always been close, and it feels amazing to know I helped make his dream of starting a family come true by giving birth to his baby.
“Harper is biologically my child, but I’m her auntie –
I’ve never felt like her mum.
“Scott and Michael are the best dads ever.”
Chapelle was thrilled when her older brother and his partner announced that they wanted to start a family in June 2018.
TRUSTING
Chapelle says, “When Scott said they’d started looking into adoption, I was so pleased for them.
“They had interviews and home visits, but it quickly became clear that adopting a child wasn’t going to be easy. The process was so complicated, and looked like it could take years.”
The pair then considered egg donation and surrogacy, but that was problematic too.
Chapelle recalls, “Scott told me that he was worried about trusting a total stranger to carry his child. Especially as, in the UK, the surrogate is the legal parent of the child.
“So I suggested that they ask someone they knew, but he wouldn’t even consider it – he thought it was too much to ask of someone.”
It was then that Chapelle had the idea of offering to be their surrogate – and egg donor. She says, “I was in the perfect position – I already had a little girl, Ivy, who is five, and I was single, so being pregnant wasn’t going to affect a partner.
“And if I was the egg donor, it would mean the baby would be genetically linked to both Scott and Michael.
“I didn’t feel broody, and I wasn’t ready for another child, so I knew I wouldn’t become too attached to the child during pregnancy, either.
“To me, it made perfect sense. So a few days later, Scott, Michael and I went for a meal, and I put the idea to them. Scott thought I was joking at first!”
SUPPORTIVE
The trio spent days discussing their situation, and all the things that could go wrong.
She says, “The worst-case scenario was that I wouldn’t be able to give the baby up.
But even before we started the process, I never considered the baby to be mine.
“Yes, it was my egg – but it wasn’t my baby. I just knew it would be different to when I carried Ivy.
“Thankfully, our mum and our sister Heather were really supportive too. Everyone thought it was a great idea.”
So, in August 2018,
Chapelle had her contraceptive implant removed and ordered a DIY artificial insemination kit online.
Chapelle says, “The first two tries didn’t work. But in November 2018, I was over the moon when I got a positive pregnancy test.
“I raced over to Scott and Michael’s house to tell them the news, and we all just burst into tears.”
A few days later, Chapelle explained what was happening to her daughter. She says,
“It was quite tricky. I had to explain that two men, like her Uncle Scott and Uncle Michael, couldn’t have children by themselves, so they’d picked me to help them.
“She seemed to understand it straight away. She even started asking me if I could have a baby for her when she was older!”
Scott and Michael came
to every scan and midwife appointment. Chapelle says, “Everyone was really accepting, and as my bump grew, Scott and Michael were with me every step of the way.
“I’d send them videos when the baby kicked, and photos of my growing bump.”
Thirty-eight weeks into her pregnancy, in July 2019, Chapelle went into labour.
THRIVING
She says, “It was really quick. Harper was born after just three-and-a-half hours, and as soon as she was delivered, her little cry filled the room.
“Michael cut the cord, and then she was handed over to her new dads. Watching them with their new daughter was a moment I’ll never forget.
“I didn’t once feel a pang of jealousy, but I did struggle when we all left the hospital later that day to go home. I gave Harper a kiss goodbye and suddenly I started to cry.
“I put it down to the hormones, because I felt fine after a couple of hours. I’d also been given a drug to stop me from producing breast milk.”
Harper is now five months old, and thriving.
Chapelle says, “As her auntie, I’m still going to be a big part of Harper’s life.
DREAM COME TRUE
“I don’t know how other surrogates – who’ll never see the child they’ve carried again – can do it. I don’t think I could have gone through with it if that was the case.
“But I’m not Harper’s mum, and I’ve never seen myself in that way. She’s my niece, and Ivy’s cousin.
“I would have done anything to help Scott and Michael, and I’m thrilled that I was able to help make their dream come true.”
Scott says, “We are blown away by my sister’s strength, heart and courage, and we will never be able to truly thank her for bringing Harper into our lives. It’s the most selfless and amazing gift.
“And Harper is adorable. When she’s old enough, we’ll be open about where she came from, and how she was carried by Chapelle.
“She’s going to be a big part of her life as her very special auntie.
“We also hope that by telling our story that it will give hope to others who may be in a similar situation.”
IT’S AMAZING TO KNOW I HELPED MAKE HIS DREAM OF STARTING A FAMILY COME TRUE