‘ I found a ready-made family’
Cath Jones, 46, lives with her husband Dave, 57, in Caerphilly. While Cath has no children of her own, she became stepmum to Dave’s four children – Gareth, now 24, Catherine, 27, Victoria, 29, and Alexandria, 33 – when they started a relationship following his divorce from the children’s mother. They married in 2010, and although Cath found it difficult at first, she feels lucky to have found a “ready-made family”.
Cath says, “I’m glad Kate and Rio are speaking out about being a stepfamily because, until recently, it’s not something that people often discussed. When I met Dave and became an instant mum to four children, I didn’t have anyone I could relate to. But, luckily – despite the inevitable ups and downs – it worked out brilliantly and I feel incredibly lucky.
“I met Dave when I was 34, around the time I was starting to think about whether I wanted to have children. Until then, I was happy with my job as a headteacher and hadn’t felt an urgent need to start a family. “I knew Dave had four children, but it didn’t put me off him. He wasn’t keen on having another child, however, and although I was disappointed at first, I gradually accepted it.
“I first met Gareth, then 11, Catherine, 13, Victoria, 15, and Alexandria, 20, a few months into my relationship with Dave.
“I was terrified, because they were nearly all teenagers and I hoped they would like me. At the first meeting, the children were quiet but welcoming and after that Gareth would stay over at weekends, while the girls would come to us every Sunday and for special occasions.
“Sometimes I found it difficult.
Dave was very lenient with his children because he felt guilty about his marriage breaking down. But it wasn’t my place to tell his kids what to do or how to behave, so I took a back seat. I never wanted to come between them and Dave.
❛ I WAS TERRIFIED OF MEETING THEM… I HOPED THEY WOULD LIKE ME ❜
“I struggled getting to know Dave’s two middle children, Catherine and Victoria, as they were very close and felt like a force to be reckoned with.
“I just took things really slowly and as they grew older, we got closer.
“I’d even drop the children back at their mum’s after they came to visit.
“Although we’d agreed not to get married, one night after dinner in
August 2009, Dave proposed and I said yes.
“We tied the knot in January 2010, with the girls as bridesmaids and Gareth as an usher. To my relief, they accepted the news and were excited to be involved in choosing dresses and helping us to plan.
“On the day itself, it felt wonderful to become a part of their lives permanently.
“Now I have a great relationship with their mum and I’m very grateful to her for letting me share her children.
“When I had breast cancer in 2013, they helped me more than I could ever have imagined, and they always give me Mother’s Day cards and gifts every year.
“Now they have their own children, who treat me as a third grandmother.
“If you get as lucky as I did, then you can end up with a ready-made family, full of amazing people.
“Being a step-parent has taught me that as long as everyone is happy, that’s all that matters.”
● Watch Rio And Kate: Becoming A Step
Family on 10 February at 9pm on BBC One