‘My stepdaughter helped elped me give birth’
When Michelle Roper, 35, met her husband Mike, 44, she was already mum to Tyler, now 16, Trayvonn, 14, and Tobias, 12, while Mike had daughter Sophie, now 21, from a previous relationship. Michelle and Mike married in 2014 and have their own son, Leo, six.
Michelle says, “I met Mike in 2006. We were both in relationships and so we spent three years as friends before becoming a couple when I ended my relationship with my ex in 2008. At the time, my sons were aged five, three and one, while Sophie was nine. Mike had split with Sophie’s mum in 2000.
CHEMISTRY
“We agreed we’d only start a relationship if the children got on, because their happiness came first. We introduced them after months of talking via instant messenger and they chatted together online and played computer games, then in 2008 Mike brought Sophie to a New Year’s Eve party I was holding.
“We knew that if the children weren’t happy, we couldn’t be together, but they all got on really well and, after that New Year’s party, Mike never really left.
“The boys lived with me and saw their dad at weekends, while Sophie split her time between her mum and Mike.
“The children were used to the idea of Mike and me as friends, so they weren’t too fazed when we started a relationship. Mike was great with my children and they bonded straight away, especially Tyler.
“Sophie was a little older, so our relationship came more gradually. I always kept in mind that she already had a mum – and now she is a mum herself – but I never forced anything. I had to learn to be a stepmum, and it took some time to figure out what my boundaries were, but we educated each other.
“Sometimes I would do her hair or nails, but I realised her mum might not appreciate it and took a step back.
“Eventually Mike and I moved to Wellingborough, Sheffield, halfway between Sophie’s mum and the boys’ dad. My children were younger than Sophie and spent more time with us, so at first she felt left out, but when we got to know each other she realised I treated all the children equally and just wanted the best for everyone.
“In 2013, we had our son Leo, who all the children doted on.
“Sophie was 15 at the time and ended up helping me give birth. My labour progressed very quickly and while she and Mike were helping me downstairs to get to the car, I knew I wasn’t going to make it. Instead I gave birth in the living room and Sophie wrapped her new baby brother in towels. She loved being involved and was great at keeping everyone calm.
REBELLIOUS
“Mike and I married a year later, with Tyler, Trayvonn and Tobias as page boys and Sophie as my chief bridesmaid. It was a perfect day and everyone was involved in our celebrations.
“Over time, my boys stopped seeing their dad and Mike stepped into more of a paternal role. At first, when he started laying down the law, they rebelled and said he couldn’t tell them what to do because he wasn’t their dad, but they’d always apologise afterwards. Now they know Mike wants the best for them and they call him ‘Dad’.
“Meanwhile, I call Sophie ‘baby girl’ and have a great relationship with her mum. We often call each other, and she rang when Sophie was in labour with her baby so I could be a part of the birth, which was lovely.
“Sophie’s mum has another daughter, from a different relationship, who is Leo’s age, and she comes to stay each summer to spend time with our family.
“The children all treat each other like siblings and, although it hasn’t always been like this, now they have a very tight bond. There are no steps or halves in our family, we’re simply family.”
❛ WE KNEW THAT IF THE CHILDREN WEREN’T HAPPY, WE COULDN’T BE TOGETHER ❜