HOW TO HANDLE ANY MOTHER’S DAY SADNESS
Mothering Sunday can be hard if you have a difficult relationship with your mum, if you have lost her, or if you’re struggling to have children. Emma advises how to cope
So many women dread Mother’s
Day, because there are two huge assumptions – firstly, that you still have your mother, and secondly, that you are one. I still have my mum, and I am lucky enough to have two children, but I have lost five babies through miscarriage – so I always feel both sad and grateful on the day.
STAY OFF SOCIAL MEDIA
You could be struggling with infertility, you may not get on with your mum, or you may be caring for your terminally ill mother. Even if you have kids, you may have suffered the loss of a child. Mothering Sunday can be tinged with sadness, or even excruciatingly painful. Wherever you go, there are cards, adverts, and messages all about mums. If these are unbearable to witness, be honest with yourself and switch off your phone, avoid social media, and use your time to practise self care.
THANK PSEUDO MUMS!
If you have lost your mum, don’t feel that you cannot mark the occasion. Buy a bunch of flowers and write her a card, because while she is no longer physically here, she is still your mum, and your relationship still exists. These small rituals can be helpful when you are grieving. Mothers aren’t always our biological mums, and many of us have someone else in our lives, like an aunt or a neighbour, who keep an eye out for us. Sending her a card can ease your pain and put a huge smile on her face.
Distraction is also helpful for any type of challenge, so ask friends to help you plan a day full of your favourite things.
TREAT YOURSELF
If you are struggling to get pregnant, trust your time will come. Go out for a meal with your partner, because when a baby does arrive, spontaneous dates will be impossible. If you can’t have kids, you may want to channel your nurturing side by volunteering for the day, whether that’s helping the homeless or making cups of tea for the elderly. Don’t beat yourself up if Mother’s Day is a struggle. You have a right to your feelings and you need compassion, not judgement, so be kind to yourself and do whatever helps to get through it.