Sophie: “I fear I might never be a mum”
The Geordie Shore star opens up about her fertility worries, and reveals why she’s focusing on herself for now instead of looking for love
She’s been open about her wish to be a mum but, after a shock diagnosis, Sophie Kasaei admits she’s now bracing herself for the prospect that she may struggle to ever have children.
The Geordie Shore star was recently diagnosed with endometriosis, a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the womb starts to grow in places such as the ovaries and the fallopian tubes. In some cases, depending on the severity of the diagnosis, it can lead to trouble conceiving.
Sophie, 30, admits she’s been rocked by the news but is determined to stay positive.
CRIPPLING PAIN
“I was in tears when I was told I had it,” she tells Closer. “I suggested doing a fertility test for Geordie OGs. I’ve never really tried to get pregnant, but I’ve been in relationships since I was 14, have never really used contraception as it doesn’t agree with me, and have never had a pregnancy scare… maybe deep down, I always thought there may be a problem.”
She adds, “I have to wait to find out how serious it is and what they can do about it
– the scan showed I’m still producing eggs, so I’m hopeful that I will still be able to be a mum one day. I’m taking each day as it comes and trying not to dwell on the worst-case scenario or it will just get me down.”
Sophie is now awaiting a laparoscopy procedure to determine how severely affected she is. Looking back, she now wonders if the warning signs had been apparent for years.
“I used to suffer from crippling period pains growing up,” she says. “I would have to get painkillers prescribed, take time off school and I was so embarrassed that my periods were so much worse and heavier than my friends’.
“I also suffer from extreme pain after having sex – I would curl up in a ball and cry afterwards and couldn’t understand why. I had lots of tests done but this wasn’t picked up – now things make sense.”
The diagnosis – all documented on Geordie OGs – is the latest blow after what has been a tough time for the bubbly star. Last July she was left heartbroken after splitting from boyfriend Jay Bigz – when he reportedly broke up with her just two months after she left Geordie Shore to focus on their relationship.
Sophie, who admits she thought she would marry former castmate Jay, has been single since the split and worries about the impact her diagnosis may have on finding Mr Right.
She says, “At the moment I’m just trying to concentrate on taking care of me – but of course I’d love to meet someone. I do worry when I’m in a relationship again I might feel embarrassed about telling a partner I may not be able to conceive.
“I’m 30 now – people want kids at my age, and I don’t want to put a boy off. But if he’s the right person, then I suppose he won’t be.”
While she insists she’s finally out of the “dark cloud” that shrouded her after splitting from Jay last year, Sophie says it’s not always easy trying to meet someone new.
“Getting over Jay took a lot longer than I thought. He moved on to someone new within weeks, which really hurt,” she says. “I’ve found it really hard to meet someone. Because of my public profile, I feel I can’t go on Tinder or other dating apps, as I’d be more vulnerable to stalkers or attacks. And if I’m in a bar I think men just see me as ‘the girl from Geordie Shore’.
“I’ve had a bit of fun, but often I’ll text someone for two weeks and he disappears. The dating scene can be very lonely.”
ENJOYING LIFE
Despite enduring a rocky few months, Sophie insists she’s emerged from the heartache stronger than ever. She’s back on TV, has bought her first house and is determined to put herself first.
“When I’m with someone, I often prioritise them,” she admits. “So being single for so long has helped me concentrate on self-care, getting my beautiful house ready and spending lots of time with friends and family. I’m a better person now. I do think about settling down with someone every day,” she admits. “But my friends tell me to stop over-thinking it, not to force it, and it will happen. In the meantime, I just want to enjoy life and be happy.”
● Follow Sophie’s story on Geordie OGs, Wednesday 25 March, 9pm on MTV
‘I can’t go on dating apps because of stalkers’