Davina: “I’m not sleeping – the fear of the unknown scares me”
TV presenter Davina McCall is suffering insomnia during lockdown – but believes her kids are benefiting from the slower pace of life
From hosting some of the nation’s best-loved TV shows, to writing cookbooks and becoming a qualified personal trainer, Davina McCall admits she’s a “workaholic” who is happiest when her days are busy.
So, isolation at her Sussex home with her three children – Holly, 18, Tilly, 16, and Chester, 13 – and a lack of regular work has been a change of pace for her, and she admits it’s taking a toll on her mental health and her sleep.
The presenter, 52, is struggling with insomnia and anxiety, revealing in a recent Instagram Live chat, The Checkin with fellow TV host Matt Johnson, “I haven’t been sleeping, and when I open my eyes I just start immediately thinking, ‘What’s going to happen?’ “I think my thing is a fear of the unknown. I’m such a planner – I always know what’s happening. I like to know what’s happening in my life six months down the line, or a year down the line. Now we’ve all just got to throw our cards up the air. Nobody knows what’s going to happen or where they’ll be, and everybody is in the same boat. None of us knows what we’re going back to, or what life’s going to look like when we come out the other side.
“I keep thinking that if I fill my day, keep myself busy, then I don’t need to know what’s happening in the world, that I’ll just be so busy I’m not thinking about it.”
While many people have admitted to coping with the lockdown by drinking more at home, Davina has been teetotal since her twenties, after overcoming an addiction to drugs and alcohol which saw her end up in hospital. She has previously spoken about her accidental heroin overdose at the height of her addiction, which was the final “wakeup call” and forced her to seek help from Narcotics Anonymous, revealing, “it was a case of get clean or die”.
LIBERATING
With the help of her family, Davina managed to stay off drugs and booze and instead, threw herself into her career, starting out presenting on MTV before becoming one of the UK’s most in-demand talents, fronting Big Brother, The Million Pound Drop, and, more recently, judging on The Masked Singer.
“Wine is so bad – I’m so pleased I don’t drink,” she said during the Instagram Live chat. “And anyway, I feel like, because no one is going out and no one’s going to parties, there is no FOMO [fear of missing out]. It’s the same with younger people. I haven’t talked in depth to my kids about the pandemic, but I wonder if it’s strangely liberating for them that they’re not missing anything, because nothing is happening.”
Instead, without her TV work, Davina is making podcasts, completing fitness
projects, and running her family home solo. She separated from her husband of 17 years, actor Matthew Robertson, in 2017, and is now dating 45-year-old hairdresser Michael Douglas. The pair had known each other for 20 years professionally, before they sparked up a romance a year ago. While her divorce from Matthew was understandably painful, Davina reveals their relationship is “miles better” two years on, and they have been co-parenting well during lockdown.
DREAMING OF THE FUTURE
She said, “Right now, I’ve got the three kids, but we’re really lucky because Matthew lives ten minutes away and parents are allowed to visit their kids, so he’s been popping over and the kids are going over to his – so they’re quite lucky, in a way, because they get to experience two homes.
“I was more worried about him, actually, because if you’re living on your own then you could go slightly mad. Isolation for me isn’t isolation – I’ve got three people with me – but he’s alone.
“I just keep thinking about all the things I’m going to do when this is all over. What I would give to have dinner with eight girlfriends right now – it seems like years ago that we did that. I’m just dreaming of things to come.”
By Julie Ann Trainor
‘It’s strangely liberating for the kids that they’re not missing out on anything’
SET GOALS
“Have a rigorous routine. I wake up at seven, I make my bed, I have a shower and shave my legs, even though I’m not going anywhere. I don’t let my personal standards slip, because mentally, I think that’s not a good place to be. The temptation to waft around in a dressing gown all day is big, but it doesn’t make me feel good. I write a list of things that I want to get done that day. I’m also working to a week/weekend schedule, so at the weekends I let myself have a lie-in and I don’t do any work at all.”
WORK OUT TO FEEL GREAT
“Exercise is definitely something I’ve used throughout my life to help me get through difficult times. Hands down, working out is the thing that will make me feel better than anything and has the greatest effect on my mood. I will immediately feel better after exercise, and it’s never been any other way. So many people think it’s a chore, but if you find something you like and enjoy, that enjoyment motivates you. You do it and it’s not a chore.”
BE KIND TO YOURSELF
“I always say I’m a work in progress and I’m learning all the time. There are many areas of my life mentally that I feel I need to work on. I’m not a perfectionist when it comes to how I look – that’s something that’s come with age. I think, as you get older, you feel more confident, because you care less what people think. That can be dangerous, but also freeing. I have days when I don’t feel my best, but don’t we all? Those are the times when we need to be kind to ourselves.”
‘The next day is a clean slate & you start again’
THINK BEFORE YOU COMFORT EAT
“Cooking is great, but nobody wants to do it if it’s going to be a big faff for hours. My passion is one-pot cooking. I just love chucking everything into a pot, putting it in the oven, and leaving it. Also, I try to find healthy snacks because I just want to eat so much! I think it’s boredom. It’s about looking at food and thinking, ‘Do I need this? Is this good for me?’”
STICK TO A ROUTINE FOR YOUR KIDS
“I’m not a natural teacher. You have just got to keep your brain ticking over and keep educating yourself. A positive is schoolwork does offer some kind of structure to your kids’ days. I prep before the chaos starts. I’ve got a timetable and I’ve got a blackboard in the kitchen. Kids love a schedule and they love a plan. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel. There is an abundance of free online resources, as well as those that your child’s school will have sent you.”
APPRECIATE YOUR LOVED ONES
“After lockdown, I think we’ll appreciate human contact in a way that we’ve never appreciated it before. I miss hugs and having unfettered access to family. My sister lives in Australia, she’s got a brand new baby, and I’ve no idea when I’ll be able to see her again. But I do feel people are kinder. I see lots of lovely neighbourhood acts happening and, when you come out to clap for carers, suddenly you get to know the people who live next door to you.”
LIVE IN THE NOW
“Nothing can ever be as bad as losing my sister Caroline [to lung cancer in 2012]. Remarkably, she supported me throughout, even though she was the one dying, just like she supported me through life really. She also taught me to not fear death. I admired her bravery so much. It’s very hard to see my dad, Andrew, suffering from Alzheimer’s. All these experiences have made me try harder to just live in the day, so each day brings its own set of joys, or trials or tribulations, but the next day is like a clean slate and you start again.”
DON’T LOSE PERSPECTIVE
“I have good days and bad days. Sometimes we’ll all be laughing over a meal, and I’ll think, ‘Wow, this is lovely’, then on other days, everybody’s having a meltdown.
Part of me wants to say it’s hard, and then part of me thinks, ‘Look, you get to go out in the countryside with your dog every day.’ And I’ve got three big kids – imagine being a single mum with little children. How hard must that be? There’s always somebody worse off than me, so I use that to get perspective.”
ALWAYS WEAR SEXY UNDIES!
“I’m sampling different things in life. I’m going to start a YouTube channel, and I’m launching an underwear range. That was all born out of me being single and still wearing the sexiest underwear ever. Not because I was dating but because it was an act of self-love every morning.”