Brave widow:
“My husband’s organs saved a stranger – now I’ve given him my kidney”
After her husband Bryan’s tragic death aged just 35 in 2004, mum-of-two Terri Herrington took comfort in knowing that her partner lived on in others via the donation of his organs.
Over the years, she even became friends with some of the recipients, including Jeff Granger, 59.
And so, when Jeff fell ill again, she wanted to help. Sixteen years after Bryan donated his pancreas and kidney to Jeff, Terri also gave him a kidney.
Terri, 49, says, “I’m thrilled I was able to help Jeff and follow in Bryan’s footsteps.
“In a way, it’s like Bryan and I are back together again – my organ next to his.”
Terri, who has two children, Drake, 21, and Payton, 16, had always known that her husband would be willing to donate his organs.
Terri explains, “After we got married, I updated my name on my driver’s licence and I had to choose whether to opt in for organ donation.
“Bryan and I had a brief conversation about organ donation and how it was something we’d both want to do – so we added our names to the register.”
DEVASTATING
Terri thought nothing more of the conversation until 13 July 2004, when Bryan fell and hit his head while working at his roofing company.
He was pronounced brain dead at hospital, and tragically died the following day.
Terri says, “I didn’t know how serious it was until I reached the hospital. When I saw Bryan, he was lying still in bed with his eyes closed. Although doctors tried everything they could to save him, they told me he wouldn’t recover. I knew then I had to turn off his life support.”
While coming to terms with the news that Bryan wouldn’t make it, Terri was approached by hospital staff about organ donation.
She says, “Despite my grief, I knew it was absolutely what Bryan would have wanted. While medical staff prepared, I spent some time speaking to Bryan by myself. I promised I’d tell our children about him and look after them for both of us.
“Bryan had always had so much to say but, for the first time in his life, he couldn’t reply. Shortly after, he passed away, and he was taken to the operating room for the donation.”
Meanwhile, Jeff Granger, then 39, had learned his kidneys and pancreas were failing as a result of his insulin-dependent diabetes. Living on dialysis, he would die without a transplant.
But on 13 July, he received a call from the transplant coordinator saying he had a match.
Jeff received Bryan’s pancreas and kidney. Three other people received Bryan’s heart, lungs and liver.
STRONG BOND
Terri, who lives in Florida, USA, says, “When Bryan died, I had a two month old and a five year old – it was so hard to be without my husband, or even find time to grieve. But it helped to know that Bryan was living on in others.”
In the UK, recipients and donors communicate
anonymously through letters handled by transplant coordinators. The law in the USA meant Terri was able to write to the recipients with her full name and phone number.
She says, “A year later, I felt ready to get in touch. When I wrote, I explained what Bryan was like, that he was a great father and would’ve done anything to help anyone. I also said they shouldn’t feel guilty for living because my husband died.”
Three recipients responded to Terri, and Jeff lived the closest, three hours away in the same state.
After speaking with Jeff on the phone for the first time, Terri says, “We clicked straight away.
“He loved the outdoors and due to the transplant, he could go camping and fishing again with his wife, Pam. It was amazing that Bryan had done that for him.
“On our first visit, Jeff and Pam even gave me a necklace to say thank you.
“After that, we’d see them regularly. During one visit, my son Payton, who was a toddler at the time, put his hand on Jeff’s stomach and said his dad was inside him. Over the years, a strong bond developed between both families. And as Jeff didn’t have his own kids, he loved to dote on the boys.”
But in January 2019,
Jeff’s donated kidney failed. He resumed dialysis but without a potential transplant, his future looked bleak.
Terri says, “Jeff had been apprehensive about telling me the kidney was failing – when he finally did, I told him I’d give him mine – but he didn’t take me seriously and refused to talk about it further.”
But a month later, Jeff appealed on social media for a kidney donor and Terri reiterated her offer.
This time, Jeff accepted that Terri was serious and the pair underwent tests to ensure they were compatible. In October 2019, Terri was told she was a match.
GREATEST GIFT
She says, “I was delighted to know we were a match. I couldn’t believe both Bryan and I were able to help Jeff – it felt like fate. The boys were so supportive too.”
Jeff and Terri had their surgeries on 3 March 2020.
Terri says, “On the day, Jeff visited me to check I still wanted to go ahead, but I insisted I was happy to help. I knew Bryan would have done the same.”
Terri woke a few hours later and learned the operation was a success. And later that day, Jeff was able to visit and thank her in person.
Terri says, “After months of illness and exhaustion, Jeff was well enough to walk and gave me another necklace, engraved with the words ‘Thank you’. It was an unforgettable moment.”
Days after the pair were discharged, the COVID-19 pandemic was declared and the state began lockdown.
Terri says, “I speak to Jeff every day and we’re closer than ever. We’re both doing so well.”
Now, Terri wants to highlight being a living donor.
She says, “My husband’s organs saved a stranger – now I’ve given him my kidney.
Not a lot of people know that you can donate kidneys as a living person. But a living transplant is more likely to be successful because the organ hasn’t suffered trauma.
“Organ donation is the greatest gift you can give – I hope Bryan would be proud of me.”
Jeff says, “Terri is a godsend. I love her very much and couldn’t ask for a better friend.”
❛ I HOPE BRYAN WOULD BE PROUD OF ME ❜