Life balance:

Manage a panic attack and soothe yourself

he coronavirus crisis may have highlighted areas of life that need your attention post-lockdown. Maybe spending more time with your kids means you want to cut your hours; maybe you never wanted a family but you’ve changed your mind; perhaps your parents live miles away and you want to be nearer. The rule we apply in

Ttherapy is to wait six to 12 months after a traumatic experience before making a life-changing decision, so you have a clearer head to explore problems and possibilities. Remember, by the time you discuss an idea with your partner, you will have considered all the positives, but they will be hearing it for the first time. Don’t be angry if they aren’t keen – instead, spend time exploring the pros and cons together. Explain your position, and allow them to voice theirs. If your partner is unwilling even to consider your feelings, make it clear that no relationship can work without collaboration and you need to try to find common ground. Many people struggle with change, so if they say there’s no chance they’ll move to the countryside, ask them to suggest a middle ground, like a smaller town. If your decision will have financial implications, work out a realistic budget to show you are serious. If your views differ, work on a timeline or compromise; a baby next year, not now; moving not to your parent’s town, but renting somewhere closer you both like. Remember, nothing is permanent. A change isn’t forever, which should make discussions feel less scary.