‘Show kids how important they are’

“Phones are a blessing and a curse when it comes to parenting,” says Anna. “During the hard times, we have a whole community and support network at our fingertips, which is fantastic. But much like when you’re talking to someone and they’re looking over your shoulder, children can feel when you’re not giving them your full attention. What’s more, when we’re on our phones, we have another agenda and children become a distraction, so we are much more likely to be irritable with them. Children don’t realise you’re writing a work email; they just wonder why you’re being snappy.”

Anna says we may feel shame for being on our phones too much around our kids, which can cause negative repercussions for ourselves. “Phones make us less present around our children and we beat ourselves up for that,” says Anna. “We feel shame and guilt, and when we feel that, we are less likely to be kind to ourselves, so it’s a vicious circle.”

Anna says the key to finding balance is to try to compartmentalise your time, giving your children your full attention when you can. “You could try putting your phone in a different room at certain times of the day,” she suggests. “For me, it’s an hour in the morning while I get my kids ready for school, and an hour in the evening when I’m bathing them and reading to them – I want to be present for them then. You might also have a rule where every time your child speaks to you and you’re on your phone, you put it face down on your leg or on the table and focus on them. You’re saying to your child, ‘You are more important to me than what

I’m doing in this moment.’”